Cravings aside, most of the time eating is nothing more than a major form of procrastination. Procrastination on so many levels too. On the surface, I find myself grabbing a snack instead of doing simple everyday tasks. Deep down, we use food to procrastinate feeling our feelings, we numb them for a little while.

I’m the queen on putting everything off. Like it’s actually bad. I have this horrible habit of not opening my mail. I’ll buy new clothes so I don’t have to do laundry. I won’t go to the gym so I don’t have to wash my hair. Eating is one of the things I do instead. Which can really affect the waistline.

We all have a to-do list. Some things on the list are crucial to do (ie: pay bills, RSVP to events, work deadlines) other things have been on our lists for week, months or even years. That’s why this week I decided to keep a list of all the things I could do instead of eating. Things that would take my mind off eating because I would feel so accomplished upon completion.

Here it is..

  1. Unsubscribe to all promotional emails ….It’s actually insane how many we get. What’s even more ridiculous…that even though my phone buzzes at the same time everyday I still haven’t learned not to look. It’s always my daily email from Express at 11:12 am telling me if I spend $75, I’ll get $25 off.
  2. Take the old clothes riding around in your trunk to the Good Will bin….I am the queen of driving around with the my huge white bag of donations in the trunk for months saying, “Ill stop when I pass a bin.” Well I’ve passed about 2 a day for the past 3 months and never once have I thought it was worth it to make the you turn.
  3. Write your maid of honor speech, go buy a wedding card and hop onto your friends registry and order her a baby gift….I don’t care if the event is a year away because you will put it off and you know, you will find yourself dressed in your BCBG Body-Con Dress and Aldo heels at CVS grabbing a card in between the church and the reception. It’s inevitable. What’s worse…you will pay $7.99 for a Papyrus card because it’s all the drugstore sells.
  4. Practice putting on fake eyelashes…seriously though. I mean, they look amazing but they are a bitch to put on. Never fail, that moment when we are completely done with our makeup…ten minutes before we have to leave….we go to place them on our upper eyelid perfectly like the woman who did our makeup for the last wedding we were in did and literally it’s a disaster. You can’t blink, the eyelashes are no where never your lash line and your fingers are stuck with glue from your eye to the scissors you used to trim the lashes. It’s infuriating. You’re cursing the lashes and you’re pissed because it’s ruining the eye contouring you tried to do perfectly from a Pinterest tutorial. now you’re late. You throw the lashes in the garbage. You wasted $5.69 and you are picking little bits of glue off your eyes all night.
  5. Spring clean your Facebook feed …I’m not saying unfriend everyone! That’s mean. I’m just suggesting making your news feed pertain a little more to your closest circle of friends and maybe one or two people from high school that you complain about but love stalking.
  6. Look through your box of college photos under your bed…that’s just fun. It always eats up an hour or two. Especially when it leads to screen shooting the photos and sending them to your besties.
  7. Go to target and buy body wash or any other essential household item you keep forgetting to pick up…I’ll shower for two weeks using shampoo as body wash because I keep forgetting to pick it up. You’ll absolutely get lost in target for an hour or so & if you are like me, when you walk into target you get so excited you always have to poop before you begin shopping. Double whammy.
  8. Get a pedicure…this one seems annoying, like yeah…a pedicure is  really what is going to stop me from heading face first in the new brownie batter Oreos. But honestly how nice is it to slip on sandals knowing your toes are perfectly pedicured in Essie’s new fall line…exactly.
  9. Clean out your makeup bag…it’s funny how us girls are such sticklers about certain things but then we let something that we use every single day get absolutely disgusting.
  10. Watch a workout DVD….yes, just watch it. One of the reasons we don’t workout is because starting a new workout is intimidating. Instead of letting that DVD you bought collect dust next to the one other DVD you own (My Girl, in my case) , take some time to get used to the workout without actually doing it. Seeing the whole thing through will remove any anxiety of the unknown & probably motivate you to actually do the workout.
  11. Go get fitted for a bra…it’s life changing. And it makes you look ten pounds thinner. We spend so much damn time looking for a New Year’s Eve outfit…that we will wear once and not even like. Why don’t we put effort into something we actually wear…everyday.
If I had a dime for every time I stopped working to go get a Mrs. Field's cookie sandwhich, I'd be rich.

If I had a dime for every time I stopped working to go get a Mrs. Field’s cookie sandwhich, I’d be rich.

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