Free yourself from Facebook Comparisons

Today’s post is short and sweet and to the point. I’ve decided to make a pledge that I am going to work on having a more honest and realistic impact on everyone’s Facebook feed. What would Facebook be like if it was ‘REAL’…

We really actually answered the little box at the top that reads, “What’s on your mind?”

  • I gained 4 pounds in the past month.
  • I got fired from my job.
  • I’m getting divorced.
  • I had a fight with my husband
  • I just ate a whole box of Oreos
  • I just stalked my ex for an hour
  • Here is a picture of me where I look FAT!
  • Off to therapy…Be Back Later!

Kind of a scary thought…But you have to admit…it’s comical as well. And for the record, I’m not talking about being morbid…I’m talking about owning imperfections in the most perfect way.

I find myself in this situation often. I’m laying on the couch fighting the late night munchies while watching one of my favorite TBS Syndicated Shows. I’ve seen the episode seven times but it’s still funny and not worth changing the channel because I’m really not committed to watching TV. If I was I’d start the second season of Game of Thrones or watch last week’s True Detective. I’m not committed because I also have my face buried in my I-phone. I’ve refreshed Facebook, Instagram, G-Mail and my work email, in that order, and  put the phone down on my coffee table. Fast forward 2 minutes later when I pick it up again because I forgot I just put it down. I’m reminded only when there is just  one new post from The Fat Jewish. It’s hysterical, of course, and I tag a couple friends with the crying laughing emoji and set the phone back down. And I’m kind of annoyed that in two minutes no one posted anything. I crave the high of new content. But is it a high? Or an intense fear? Fear of failure.

We all know we are glued to social media, we all know it’s a problem. We often loudly state “I hate Facebook” to friends and family. We blind threat that we are going to delete Facebook with absolutely no intention to. We act like it’s a huge inconvenience that we have to be aware of what people from high school are doing. We think about our posts, obsess over filters and panic over the number of likes we get. Social media is literally the best and worst thing that ever happened to us. Let’s start with the best, I mean you probably wouldn’t even be reading this if it weren’t for the fact that I shared it on my Facebook page. (Thanks for reading btw).

We compare our jobs, relationships, children, parties we are and aren’t invited to, tans, vacations, clothes, jewelry and our weight loss and weight gain to everyone and everything on Facebook. But, I’m not telling you something you don’t already know.

It’s very inspiring to see other people’s success on Facebook and Instagram. They evoke both inspiration and extreme jealousy. I actually started the barre workout simply because a girl I know on Facebook posted a picture of her arms and they looked amazing. Thank you friend I will keep anonymous.

When we come across someone on Facebook who looks amaze, we feel a million emotions. Jealousy and envy even though we don’t want to admit it. In fact, we try so hard not to admit that we are jealous that we give them a “like” to prove we are happy for them. Then we begin to beat up on ourselves, subconsciously. We feel depressed, even a little sick to our stomachs. We downward spiral as we proceed to go through that friend’s entire timeline slipping deeper and deeper into self loathing.

Facebook isn’t responsible for our self doubt, it’s been brewin inside us, facebook just stirred the pot. I’ve learned that trying to convince myself that I’m not jealous when I am will only make me feel worse. Trying to convince ourselves that we don’t want what someone else has only add fuels to our fire.  And It’s OK to be honest with ourselves. There are times that we just don’t want to be happy for others. In fact, we may even feel justified in our negative thoughts because we think we haven’t been blessed enough. That’s ok. Let yourself feel, it’s the first step in freedom.

In the meantime, let’s just agree that we will challenge ourselves to be fair in our comparisons.  Don’t compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.

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