Basic Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss

About a year ago, maybe more, a term hit social media that became a new norm. The term is: BASIC.

And According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of basic is: An adjective used to describe any person, place, activity involving obscenely obvious behavior, dress, action.

I’ve been told, by numerous people I love and adore, that I’m basic. And I take that as a high compliment. Since we all have a little basic babe in us, I decided to draft the basic girls guide to health, because I believe we can be healthy and still be basic. In this guide we will touch on a few of the most quintessential signs of being a basic girl.

First, Starbucks. If you’re really basic, you have 3 different Starbucks drinks.

Drink 1: Your standard coffee drink: the drink that you get first thing in the morning, every morning. It’s the drink that wakes you up and it’s the reason you exchange Christmas gifts with your barista. They have it at the register ready for you when the line is 6 deep.

Drink 2: Your dessert coffee drink: While some people will give their left Ugg for a piece of candy or a cookie around 3 pm, we basic girls, want a sugary coffee drink. Salted Caramel Mocha WITH Whip please. Starbucks Frappy Hour was created for us.

Drink 3: Your diet drink: This is the drink we order when we “think” Starbucks is the reason we’re packing on a few pounds. We don’t necessarily love it, but it gets the job done.

BASIC GIRL’S GUIDE TO HEALTH @ STARBUCKS:

  • Use cinnamon. It’s a super healthy addition to coffee, you can literally pour the entire bottle into your cup at the condiment counter. Doing that will give you the strong sweet  flavor that most of the syrups give sans artificial sweeteners.
  • Order  a “short size.” It’s the size smaller than the tall so it cuts the calories (and it’s cheaper)
  • Try the cold brew. I personally hate the bitter taste of coffee which is why I drink lattes, but cold brew means the beans are soaked overnight so a lot of that bitter taste of coffee is removed. Plus they add water, which removes the bitter flavor too. Add a little vanilla soy milk and it’s like an iced skinny vanilla latte but way less calories.

Next, Black Leggings. I personally don’t know why people have beef with black leggings. Yes, they are pants. And for the record, jeans suck. I put on a pair of jeans and look 60 pounds heavier. I put on a pair of black leggings and I look emaciated. Most of us girls have searched high and low for the perfect pair of jeans. They DO NOT exist. Every pair of jeans I own fits me differently every single day. I literally have a drawer filled with 11 pairs of jeans. I hate them all. Then I have a drawer filled with 11 pairs of leggings. I love them all. And no, I don’t have “work leggings” and “gym leggings” and “football sunday leggings.” I wear the same pair to any and all occasions.

But here’s the argument, black leggings give us permission to eat more. And I’ll be the first to admit I’ll eat the whole bag of skinny pop instead of half knowing I have black leggings to back me up in the morning.

BASIC GIRL’S GUIDE TO HEALTH in BLACK LEGGINGS:

  • Black MC Hammer Pants. They are AS comfortable as black leggings. Feels like you are wearing Victoria Secret Boyfriend Sweats. But you can dress them up with a pair of Tory Burch Flats and any one of J-Crew’s solid colored V-Neck shirts that make our boobs look uh-maze.

Click Here to see what I’m talking about

  • Black Stretch Jeans, one size bigger. Rip out the tag the minute you buy them. Screw size. I wore these the whole week after Christmas and it literally made me feel like I conquered Christmas Cookies this year. Still slimming, still loose, but the illusion that you are thin enough for jeans.

Next, The Messy Bun. Yeah, rock the messy bun. Why? The less time we spend on our hair, the more time we have to pack a lunch or make a smoothie. Let’s be serious the only reason I don’t do those things is because I am wasting my whole morning in my bathroom straightening my hair because I haven’t gotten a Keratin in 7 months. So go buy a big pair of Kate Spade earrings (at the outlet of course since they are only $26 there), throw on an infinity scarf and rock the shit out of your messy bun.

Next, Khloe is the new Kim.  I’ll be the first to say it, her Instagram account is the only motivation I need to get myself to the gym. Her body looks beyond amaze and she she did it all at the gym. I know, because I read her book. All basic girls do.

Next, Pumpkin Spice Everything. Pumpkin is a way overlooked weight loss aid. It only has 49 calories a cup and 3 grams of fiber. It’s literally the best substitute for eggs & butter when baking. Oh and Be Tee Dub Banana lovers, pumpkin has more potassium than bananas. So Starbucks should probably replace bananas with baby pumpkins at the register. A. for the potassium and B. so I stop spending $1 on a banana every morning when they are 5 for $1 at every fruit cart in NYC.

And finally, #selfies. In my eyes, selfies are the new scale. My double chin can give me a barometer of my health way better than any scale can. I know when I am tilting my head down at more than a 45 degree angle it’s time to cut back on the frozen margaritas and chips & guac.

Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to share this guide with all your basic friends:)

Happy Monday!

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