This weekend I had the chance to participate in the Monarch Workshop. It’s a creative workshop designed for women to come together and learn what it means to live a more inspired life. For many of us that means following our passion & living with a purpose. It was also a weekend of playing in Confetti at an Adult Disneyland! I had the time and resources to spend the weekend defining what “Monday dieter” is. And reiterate to myself why Monday dieter is my passion project AKA Why I would choose to spend a whole weekend learning how to grow this little baby. I’d like to share with you what it means and WHY you reading my posts every Monday means the world to me.
As many of you know, I have been on a diet since I was 9 years old. I have struggled with body image since as long as I can remember. It was the worst in college even though I never told anyone, I just joked about it. I have cycled through every phase of disordered eating. I have 6 different sizes of jeans in my closet because my weight has fluctuated that much. When I got engaged in 2012 I was so sick and tired of being on a diet and still hating myself. It was god damn exhausting and I didn’t want to bring this part of me into my marriage or pass it along to any children I planned to have. I confided in my husband (the best thing I ever did, even though he already knew, I loved him even more when I asked him for help) and after seeing a nutritionist she convinced me to switch to therapy. I never looked back. The minute I spoke out loud to someone about how much this has plagued me I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders (pun intended). I still struggle everyday, but everyday gets easier and I have never been happier. Since I have stayed the same weight for upwards of 1 year now, I consider myself a recovered Yo Yo Dieter. I still don’t believe it when I step on the scale.
While learning about myself, I have wanted to talk to anyone and everyone who may have the same story. That’s why I started my blog and that’s why it’s literally my favorite place in the world.
The name Monday Dieter was chosen because I wanted to find a place of common ground for all women. A Monday Diet is just that. Something that resonates with all of us. A place we have all been, no matter who we are or what our relationship with food may be. We all struggle with how we feel about ourselves and our weight. Often the solution is to lose more weight aka start a new diet on Monday.
The reason Monday Dieter became a blog is because I wanted to write about the journey I was on discovering WHY I eat. The biggest epiphany I had in the past 2 years is that eating is not a problem, it’s a symptom of something deeper. This will always be a journey for me, not a destination and I love everyone who has opened up to me and shared similar stories.
It also is a place where we find a way to stop hating ourselves thin. Self hate is the reason we start a diet every Monday, emotions are the reason we fall off our diets by Tuesday. I want this blog to be a place that convinces us that we are good enough NOW, not when the scale is a certain number or our jeans are a certain size. That means we must find a way to love ourselves for all our quirks. It means having a place of empathy to go where we don’t feel crazy for our relationship with food. It’s a place to be vulnerable and ask for help.
In the next couple months I plan to build this website into an even greater place of support. A place to come on a good day, a place to come on a bad day. A place to come if you are knee deep in a sleeve of Oreos to give yourself permission to keep eating or to find support to stop. It’s a place where no matter what you feel when you come, you leave with compassion for yourself.
The Monday Diet is a vicious cycle. One that we can break if we peel back the layers of who we are.
Oh and the best part about being a healthy weight, I didn’t give up anything! And for the first time I loved gaining, confidence that is:)