Dear swimsuit bottoms,
You don’t fit. Any of us. Ever. We hate you.
Love,
Every woman
For many of us, Memorial Day Weekend is the “unofficial” start of summer. It’s an exciting time. We pull our summer clothes out from the plastic bins shoved underneath our beds. Our ballet flats (that reek #real talk) are willingly replaced by flip flops. Our feet desperately need a pedicure and we make a mental note to schedule one ASAP. And although we can all find a pair of drawstring shorts or a maxi dress to comfortably wear, despite our jean shorts being a little snug, bathing suits are a different beast.
Every year I fantasy about slipping on a swimsuit the first day of summer and floating around the beach like Valerie Bertonelli in her 2007 Jenny Craig commercial. After all, I had 365 days to get this body so that was ample time. So why is another summer here and I’m once again frantically searching the racks of Target looking for a swimsuit that not only makes me 10 pounds thinner, actually fits. I’m talking FITS. I don’t want it digging into my sides causing a side stomach roll. I have cookie dough binges to thank for that. I want full coverage in the back. I don’t want to feel like I’m wearing a thong every time I get up from my chair. And I want it to contain enough material so that it can sit comfortably right below my belly button. Is that too much to ask?!
My point is that because of swimsuits (specifically bottoms) the first couple weeks of summer can leave us panic stricken. We are all wondering how we can lose the most amount of weight and make up for the entire fall and winter before the next time we have to put on a swimsuit. And many of our swimsuit collections, varying sizes and styles are a direct reflection on our life long battle with our weight. Like jeans, we’re always searching for the perfect pair. That perfect swimsuit doesn’t exist and won’t ever exist. Not because everyone from Xhileration to the people at Anything But Water are completely confused about sizing but because we have NEVER ever given ourselves a break in a swimsuit. We are meaner to ourselves than any swimsuit bottom could every be. Here’s the thing about swimsuits, I realized I was constantly blaming them for the way they fit me. I never stopped to blame myself for the way I treat myself every single time I put on a swimsuit. I’m horrible to myself, we all are.
It’s time to take back summer! There are body acceptance movements, cellulite acceptance movements, C-Section scar acceptance movements, it’s time for us to all accept what we look like in our swimsuits. Right now, today. We have to forgive ourselves for what we did, or didn’t do, over the winter. And find a way to love our body in a swimsuit right now. Whether we each find a sexy one piece or a hot high waist-ed bottom. Summer is too short to spend our time suffering. We don’t need to spend the whole summer hiding under the biggest beach towel when we can dance in the sand.
I’ll start, I hated the way my stomach looked in this pic my husband took even though I basically pulled my back out trying to sit up straight, but I mean my nephew’s lobster suit is to die for.