Why I became successful keeping a New Year’s resolution once I stopped trying to lose weight…

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Happy New Year, Readers! Thanks for stopping by today! It’s been a while since I posted. In June I started working on a new amazing daytime talk show called The Mel Robbins Show. If you haven’t seen it yet, please take a look! As I focused on launching this amazing new show, I focused my attention on work, being a mom and continuing my degree and put this happy place of mine, Monday Dieter, on hiatus. But I missed you! I hope you didn’t miss me too much. I had a couple weeks off from work and was inspired to write.

My inspiration to write came as I was leaving the grocery store today. I went to the grocery store to get ingredients for a three bean turkey chili i was making for the first time. I was making this because my New Year’s resolution this year is to try and cook more. I even quantified the resolution so I had a roadmap. 1 new recipe per week. So essentially 52 new recipes this year. Literally recipes could be as simple as “a baked potato.” Because that’s something I’ve never ever attempted to cook before. Not complicated but the payout for me was huge.

Well it’s 5 days into the New Year and I am already 5 recipes in, that’s how much I am enjoying this resolution. As I walked out of the grocery store today with my bag of ingredients, I wondered when New Year’s resolutions became fun for me and actually achievable. Then I knew the exact moment, it happened about 5 years ago when my New Year resolutions stopped being “to lose weight.” That was my resolution for WAY too many years. And I always took this to the extreme. I will never eat sugar again, Id convince myself on Dec. 31. I will never eat a processed food ever again, I will lose 700 pounds this year and all my problems will begin to be solved the minute the clock strikes midnight. I always woke up on New Year’s day with a little hope and a whole lot of dread. That’s because I lived my whole life in two settings. Setting 1, eating a salad with 3 oz. of grilled chicken and 1 tbsp. of salad dressing for diner or setting 2, 7 slices of pizza, a sleeve of Oreos, a bag of candy and a small child.

When I stopped living in those two settings, I also stopped making extreme New Year’s resolutions. When I stopped making extreme New Year’s resolutions I stopped failing at every resolution. Resolutions became fun and actually beneficial to life when I was actually able to do them. About 4 years ago a resolution of mine was to start a face washing anti-aging regime a couple days a week since I was never consistent. It’s now a part of my daily life. It was easy to achieve, I didn’t dread it and I loved the results. One year it was to floss 3 days a week (don’t judge) and I’ve been flossing for 3 years now.

So today, if you are reading this and have already given up on your resolution, I encourage you to change it to something more achievable, more realistic and more doable. If it feels exhausting, it’s too extreme. Everyone talks about setting your standards high. When it comes to making a change, I disagree. Set your standards low and exceed your own damn expectations. And reevaluate constantly. If its not working, change it, tweak it, make SOMETHING work for you, anything. “Losing weight,” “getting healthy,” “being successful at work,” these are NOT resolutions, these are generic statements with no game plan. Resolve to a portion of your plan that leads you to who you want to be in 2020. This will change your year! I promise!

Happy Monday!

I tried on 67 pairs of whites jeans & here are my picks!

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WHY I TRIED ON 67 PAIRS OF WHITE JEANS

Ladies, Here’s what is happening today. We’re taking back control of our clothes! White jeans need to work for US, we don’t need to work for them!

I have to give my co-worker, Randi credit for giving me this fabulous idea! I was actually working on jean shorts and she said, you should do white jeans. And in that moment I was reminded just how much white jeans stress me out. White jeans are THE WORST! They are see through and uncomfortable. The look amazing on the hanger and then they feel like cardboard on our legs. The are a summer staple but feel like a see through nightmare when we put them on. But that’s stating the obvious.

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH WHITE JEANS

The way they make us feel about ourselves. We think we can’t wear jeans because we have too much cellulite. We think we can’t wear white jeans because we aren’t thin enough. We think we can’t wear white jeans because they show all our lumps and bumps. All of these things makes shopping for white jeans frustrating and emotional.

But I wanted to help make the dressing room a happier place and give you a gentle reminder to be kind to yourself. It’s not you, it’s the jeans. So let’s break up with some brands and focus on what makes us feel fabulous!

MY WHITE JEANS EXPERIMENT

I took about two weeks, went to 16 stores and tried on 67 pairs of jeans. MOST of them were just downright awful. And for a while I thought I actually wouldn’t find a pair that I liked. But where there is a will there is a way.

WHITE JEANS CRITERIA to make my list (in this order)

  1. Comfort! I want to feel like I am wearing leggings at all times.
  2. I want to feel like I can wear them any day. We all know there are jeans days and leggings days. I want to never be scared to slip these jeans on if I overindulged or am bloated.
  3. The can’t be see through. No explanation needed. I don’t want to see the pockets or undergarments or body bulges. I want to be able to wear granny panties in these things and still feel sexy.

WHITE JEANS TOP PICKS

So, here are my two top picks & the two pairs I bought.

  1. NYJD SKINNY ANKLE PULL-ON JEANS

2. DENIZEN from LEVIS RIPPED BOYFRIEND JEANS

Here are some honorable mentions:

LOFT Curvy Double Frayed Skinny Jeans

Express Super High Waisted Denin Perfect Sash Tie

COSTCO Buffalo Ladies’ Aubrey Stretch

American Eagle Ne(X)t Level Stretch Super High-Waisted Jeggings Crop

There is literally only one reason I’d spent two weeks trying on white jeans and that’s because I feel so passionately about every woman ending the war they wage on their bodies. We never blame the manufacturer, we ALWAYS blame ourselves. So I hope you think of this social experiment if you’re out shopping for a pair of white jeans. And I hope you buy a pair that makes you feel as beautiful as you are!

Click here for one more important piece of advice when trying on white jeans.

Sizes are a lot like the scale. We let them define us. We’ve come up with a certain size in our heads that we believe we should be and when we aren’t that size, we beat ourselves up.

I know how hard it is to make the decision to buy the bigger size. It feels like a defeat, a failure. And it’s a reminder of the progress we haven’t yet made. But in NO way whatsoever does the size of clothes you wear define you. We look better, we feel better and we lift a huge weight of pressure off our shoulders. And it’s moments like this, when we chose to buy the bigger size that become more effective than any fruit or veggie.

**Note, I have no affiliation to any brand. I do not make any money off any brand. These are my own opinion.

Need help losing weight, check out my unique weight loss services

I gave up my scale for 40 days…Here’s what happened!

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For Lent this year, I decided to give up my scale. Yup, that thing we all hate! I could have picked any of the standard catholic lent favorites…chocolate, cookies, chips, bread or candy. Yes, we all give up food in hopes that God will finally be the person who will hold us all accountable to our diets. But when I was thinking about something that would really make me a better person the scale actually came to mind.

Was this hard? In a weird strange way, yes. That’s because for so much of my life, anytime I’ve ever done anything remotely good, I’ve run to that darn thing for approval. So if I had a week where I made it to the gym more than usual, or a stretch of 3 days where I ate pretty well, or a glimpse in the mirror where I thought I saw an ab, I’d pass it at the gym and see it peaking out from underneath the cabinet in the bathroom and be tempted to go against God and grab a glimpse at my weight. BUT I didn’t.

But on the other hand, when I didn’t eat well I got to secretly celebrate. Sorry scale, I get to pass up this chance to ridicule myself because I made this promise to Jesus and I won’t break it.

Now we all have those people in our lives that say, I never go by the scale, I only go by how my clothes fit. And yes, that’s great too but in my mind, that tactic just transfers the power of the scale to the power of the size. The same way you want a return on the scale for your hard work, you hope for the same from your pants.

So removing this from my life for the past 40 days (actually 46 because I didn’t go on this week either!) has made me really learn to take inventory of my emotional health. Let my emotions dictate my mood. We all have the strong urge to feel happy and when it’s up to YOU to create your happiness when it comes to health, its a lot easier than when you let the scale.

For example, if I went to the gym 3 days one week and I stepped on the scale and didn’t lose a pound, or worse, gained a pound, I’d completely neglect the accomplishment of going to the gym and criticize myself for not going enough. When I didn’t have the scale, I was able to just give myself praise for going. And without the overwhelming thoughts of that number, it freed up brain space for me to focus on feeling stronger and better and happier.


I am someone who let the number on that scale rule over them for way to long. So this past 40 days, I did what I love to do most and that’s take the power away from the scale. That number doesn’t define us. It never did and it never will.


The “perfect” diet does exist! A case against fad diets and quick fixes.

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For my final presentation this semester I had to do a 10 minute presentation of a research topic of choice. I chose, “Micronutrient Gaps in Three Commerical Weight Loss Diet Plans”. This became an interest of mine when I was learning about the “B” Vitamins specifically. Much of the way we get our daily dose of “B” is through whole grains enriched with them. And with the rise of diets that advocate for removing carbohydrates I assumed many people would be deficient. I came across this study and it turns out, yes, many mainstream diets leave us deficient in important micronutrients. Why is this important to me? Because if you are like me, you have spent too many years being attracted to quick fixes and fad diets. These diets promise the world in weight loss and health but often fall short and we fail. When you look at diets from a scientific perspective you can see that you don’t need to spend too much money or time or even days feeling miserable and deprived if you want to achieve health and weight loss. It’s amazing how your physical and mental health can turn around just by eating better.

So since I know many mainstream diets did fall short nutritionally, I was curious if a diet was ever created that gave you 100% of your RDA of all vitamins and minerals. So using a food tracker called, Cronometer.com (which is what they used in this study) I started playing around. It took a very very long time BUT it CAN be done.

Here is the menu for that

**total calories: 1520

Breakfast Smoothie: 1 cup spinach, 1 cup blueberries, 1 cup coconut milk, 1 tbsp. flaxseeds

Snack: 3 brazil nuts & ½ C nonfat milk

Lunch: 4 oz salmon, 6 Brussel sprouts and 1 cup broccoli, ½ avocado…Add ¼ tsp. salt & 1 tsp. olive oil

Snack: 6 dried apricots & 1 glass of milk

Dinner: 2 Oz steak, 1 cup spinach, 1 cup broccoli, 1 cup white beans, 1 cup mushrooms, use 1 orange with 1 tbsp. balsamic, 2 tsp. olive oil & ¼ tsp. salt for dressing

And this is just 1 configuration of foods. I am sure there are millions more. so if you have failed at 101 diets then don’t start the 102 diet. Or if a friend is going on and on and about the way you “should” be eating…don’t feel pressured. Just be happy and eat healthy. And always have dessert. The end.


If the jeans don’t fit, throw them away!!

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So this morning I decided to try on a pair of jeans that hasn’t fit in a while to see if they fit. Well guess what, they still didn’t. And when that happened my first thought is, ugh well now I need to try harder to fit back into these. And my second thought, how in the world did I ever even fit in these? I folded them and put them back in the drawer. While I was doing my makeup deciding what to wear, feeling upset about the jeans, I went back into my room, opened the drawer, and tossed those jeans in the donation pile. And I said to myself, who the hell cares if these jeans never fit again?! No but seriously, WHO CARES! It was quite empowering. Then I slipped on my black comfy mc hammer pants, snapped this pic and headed out the door with a smile. It was that easy and it should always be that easy. Does anyone have that pair of jeans that they hold onto hoping they’ll fit again one day?! Can we just all say goodbye to those jeans already! #byeskinnyjeans but there is another big lesson in this, back when those jeans did fit, I still didn’t think they were good enough… it’s time to start thinking we are perfect

Look at yourself through the eyes of a child

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On her first birthday I made a decision that I wasn’t going to tell her how much I loved her. Instead…I decided to thank her for loving me. Loving all my imperfections, perfectly. Now today, on her second birthday approaches I plan to do the same thing.

Before becoming a mom the thing you hear most is, there is no love like the love you have for your child. Everyone talks about how much they love their child. I am no different, I love my almost two year old daughter so so much. But I want to talk about something no one talks about. No one talks about how much our children love us.

Whether you’re a mom, or an aunt, or a sister, or a wife, or a best friend, or all of the above, when you think of yourself poorly look at yourself through someone else’s eyes. To them you’re perfect. They love you and because they love you, you should love yourself too.
One thing I made a promise to myself I would never do is never talk poorly about myself verbally in front of my daughter. We as parents are responsible for teaching our children about the world. And that means they don’t need to hear us in front of the mirror saying “mommy looks fat.” They don’t need us to verbalize our imperfections. Stop talking about wrinkles and fat and cellulite and stress in front of them. To them we’re perfect and there is no reason to teach them otherwise. And pointing out our imperfections will only teach them that method of self love. I want to raise a strong woman who loves herself. Therefore I need to be a strong woman who loves herself too.
Happy Birthday to Penelope!!!! Or as she calls herself, Peppy