Why I became successful keeping a New Year’s resolution once I stopped trying to lose weight…

Happy New Year, Readers! Thanks for stopping by today! It’s been a while since I posted. In June I started working on a new amazing daytime talk show called The Mel Robbins Show. If you haven’t seen it yet, please take a look! As I focused on launching this amazing new show, I focused my attention on work, being a mom and continuing my degree and put this happy place of mine, Monday Dieter, on hiatus. But I missed you! I hope you didn’t miss me too much. I had a couple weeks off from work and was inspired to write.

My inspiration to write came as I was leaving the grocery store today. I went to the grocery store to get ingredients for a three bean turkey chili i was making for the first time. I was making this because my New Year’s resolution this year is to try and cook more. I even quantified the resolution so I had a roadmap. 1 new recipe per week. So essentially 52 new recipes this year. Literally recipes could be as simple as “a baked potato.” Because that’s something I’ve never ever attempted to cook before. Not complicated but the payout for me was huge.

Well it’s 5 days into the New Year and I am already 5 recipes in, that’s how much I am enjoying this resolution. As I walked out of the grocery store today with my bag of ingredients, I wondered when New Year’s resolutions became fun for me and actually achievable. Then I knew the exact moment, it happened about 5 years ago when my New Year resolutions stopped being “to lose weight.” That was my resolution for WAY too many years. And I always took this to the extreme. I will never eat sugar again, Id convince myself on Dec. 31. I will never eat a processed food ever again, I will lose 700 pounds this year and all my problems will begin to be solved the minute the clock strikes midnight. I always woke up on New Year’s day with a little hope and a whole lot of dread. That’s because I lived my whole life in two settings. Setting 1, eating a salad with 3 oz. of grilled chicken and 1 tbsp. of salad dressing for diner or setting 2, 7 slices of pizza, a sleeve of Oreos, a bag of candy and a small child.

When I stopped living in those two settings, I also stopped making extreme New Year’s resolutions. When I stopped making extreme New Year’s resolutions I stopped failing at every resolution. Resolutions became fun and actually beneficial to life when I was actually able to do them. About 4 years ago a resolution of mine was to start a face washing anti-aging regime a couple days a week since I was never consistent. It’s now a part of my daily life. It was easy to achieve, I didn’t dread it and I loved the results. One year it was to floss 3 days a week (don’t judge) and I’ve been flossing for 3 years now.

So today, if you are reading this and have already given up on your resolution, I encourage you to change it to something more achievable, more realistic and more doable. If it feels exhausting, it’s too extreme. Everyone talks about setting your standards high. When it comes to making a change, I disagree. Set your standards low and exceed your own damn expectations. And reevaluate constantly. If its not working, change it, tweak it, make SOMETHING work for you, anything. “Losing weight,” “getting healthy,” “being successful at work,” these are NOT resolutions, these are generic statements with no game plan. Resolve to a portion of your plan that leads you to who you want to be in 2020. This will change your year! I promise!

Happy Monday!

I tried on 67 pairs of whites jeans & here are my picks!


Ladies, Here’s what is happening today. We’re taking back control of our clothes! White jeans need to work for US, we don’t need to work for them!

I have to give my co-worker, Randi credit for giving me this fabulous idea! I was actually working on jean shorts and she said, you should do white jeans. And in that moment I was reminded just how much white jeans stress me out. White jeans are THE WORST! They are see through and uncomfortable. The look amazing on the hanger and then they feel like cardboard on our legs. The are a summer staple but feel like a see through nightmare when we put them on. But that’s stating the obvious.


The way they make us feel about ourselves. We think we can’t wear jeans because we have too much cellulite. We think we can’t wear white jeans because we aren’t thin enough. We think we can’t wear white jeans because they show all our lumps and bumps. All of these things makes shopping for white jeans frustrating and emotional.

But I wanted to help make the dressing room a happier place and give you a gentle reminder to be kind to yourself. It’s not you, it’s the jeans. So let’s break up with some brands and focus on what makes us feel fabulous!


I took about two weeks, went to 16 stores and tried on 67 pairs of jeans. MOST of them were just downright awful. And for a while I thought I actually wouldn’t find a pair that I liked. But where there is a will there is a way.

WHITE JEANS CRITERIA to make my list (in this order)

  1. Comfort! I want to feel like I am wearing leggings at all times.
  2. I want to feel like I can wear them any day. We all know there are jeans days and leggings days. I want to never be scared to slip these jeans on if I overindulged or am bloated.
  3. The can’t be see through. No explanation needed. I don’t want to see the pockets or undergarments or body bulges. I want to be able to wear granny panties in these things and still feel sexy.


So, here are my two top picks & the two pairs I bought.



Here are some honorable mentions:

LOFT Curvy Double Frayed Skinny Jeans

Express Super High Waisted Denin Perfect Sash Tie

COSTCO Buffalo Ladies’ Aubrey Stretch

American Eagle Ne(X)t Level Stretch Super High-Waisted Jeggings Crop

There is literally only one reason I’d spent two weeks trying on white jeans and that’s because I feel so passionately about every woman ending the war they wage on their bodies. We never blame the manufacturer, we ALWAYS blame ourselves. So I hope you think of this social experiment if you’re out shopping for a pair of white jeans. And I hope you buy a pair that makes you feel as beautiful as you are!

Click here for one more important piece of advice when trying on white jeans.

Sizes are a lot like the scale. We let them define us. We’ve come up with a certain size in our heads that we believe we should be and when we aren’t that size, we beat ourselves up.

I know how hard it is to make the decision to buy the bigger size. It feels like a defeat, a failure. And it’s a reminder of the progress we haven’t yet made. But in NO way whatsoever does the size of clothes you wear define you. We look better, we feel better and we lift a huge weight of pressure off our shoulders. And it’s moments like this, when we chose to buy the bigger size that become more effective than any fruit or veggie.

**Note, I have no affiliation to any brand. I do not make any money off any brand. These are my own opinion.

Need help losing weight, check out my unique weight loss services

I gave up my scale for 40 days…Here’s what happened!

For Lent this year, I decided to give up my scale. Yup, that thing we all hate! I could have picked any of the standard catholic lent favorites…chocolate, cookies, chips, bread or candy. Yes, we all give up food in hopes that God will finally be the person who will hold us all accountable to our diets. But when I was thinking about something that would really make me a better person the scale actually came to mind.

Was this hard? In a weird strange way, yes. That’s because for so much of my life, anytime I’ve ever done anything remotely good, I’ve run to that darn thing for approval. So if I had a week where I made it to the gym more than usual, or a stretch of 3 days where I ate pretty well, or a glimpse in the mirror where I thought I saw an ab, I’d pass it at the gym and see it peaking out from underneath the cabinet in the bathroom and be tempted to go against God and grab a glimpse at my weight. BUT I didn’t.

But on the other hand, when I didn’t eat well I got to secretly celebrate. Sorry scale, I get to pass up this chance to ridicule myself because I made this promise to Jesus and I won’t break it.

Now we all have those people in our lives that say, I never go by the scale, I only go by how my clothes fit. And yes, that’s great too but in my mind, that tactic just transfers the power of the scale to the power of the size. The same way you want a return on the scale for your hard work, you hope for the same from your pants.

So removing this from my life for the past 40 days (actually 46 because I didn’t go on this week either!) has made me really learn to take inventory of my emotional health. Let my emotions dictate my mood. We all have the strong urge to feel happy and when it’s up to YOU to create your happiness when it comes to health, its a lot easier than when you let the scale.

For example, if I went to the gym 3 days one week and I stepped on the scale and didn’t lose a pound, or worse, gained a pound, I’d completely neglect the accomplishment of going to the gym and criticize myself for not going enough. When I didn’t have the scale, I was able to just give myself praise for going. And without the overwhelming thoughts of that number, it freed up brain space for me to focus on feeling stronger and better and happier.

I am someone who let the number on that scale rule over them for way to long. So this past 40 days, I did what I love to do most and that’s take the power away from the scale. That number doesn’t define us. It never did and it never will.

If the jeans don’t fit, throw them away!!

So this morning I decided to try on a pair of jeans that hasn’t fit in a while to see if they fit. Well guess what, they still didn’t. And when that happened my first thought is, ugh well now I need to try harder to fit back into these. And my second thought, how in the world did I ever even fit in these? I folded them and put them back in the drawer. While I was doing my makeup deciding what to wear, feeling upset about the jeans, I went back into my room, opened the drawer, and tossed those jeans in the donation pile. And I said to myself, who the hell cares if these jeans never fit again?! No but seriously, WHO CARES! It was quite empowering. Then I slipped on my black comfy mc hammer pants, snapped this pic and headed out the door with a smile. It was that easy and it should always be that easy. Does anyone have that pair of jeans that they hold onto hoping they’ll fit again one day?! Can we just all say goodbye to those jeans already! #byeskinnyjeans but there is another big lesson in this, back when those jeans did fit, I still didn’t think they were good enough… it’s time to start thinking we are perfect

Celebrate everything you may have gained with each pound.

This just in, it’s official, I went up a jeans size. None of my jeans are comfortable, I’m finding it frustrating to get ready in the morning as I search for any pair of clean leggings. Tonight after work I decided to buy a new pair of jeans. Tried on maybe 16 pairs, sweat profusely in the dressing room. And I for sure went up a size. I was sad on the subway on the way home, feeling anxious. The way I’ve always felt in my life when I gain weight. And as I’m scrolling on Instagram looking at so many amazing weight loss stories I thought, no one posts when they gain weight. It’s like a big secret we all have to deny. Weight gain has become a big secret we have to hide with loose sweaters and leggings. Why? How did we get here? There are a million reasons why I am maybe up a few pounds now. But the most discouraging thing about this situation is I’m doing so many things right in life and focusing only on this so called “failure”. I’ve gotten myself back to the gym 4 times a week. I just got bloodwork and am very healthy. Oh, and I’m so happy. So why in the world should I care that my pants aren’t currently reflecting how I feel on the inside. And why in the world do we have to hide weight gain. Hiding the gain is like hiding who we are at this moment in time. Oh you gained some weight but landed your dream job, f*ckin celebrate that weight. Oh you had a baby and you’re up a pants size, flaunt that shit. Life can so easily be equated to our weight at any given time and that’s ok!! I’m feverishly typing this because I’m screaming with passion. We don’t need to hide in shame, celebrate everything you may have gained with each pound.

Happiness doesn’t come from weight loss. Weight loss comes from happiness.

For so many of us food has developed a negative connotation. Eating out feels gluttonous and unhealthy. Having a drink with a friend feels like a diet derailment. We look at parties as calories instead of conversation.

On Friday after a long day I was on my way home and was mentally checking everything off my to-do list. I did this, I did that, ok good. And I thought, it feels like everything we do is an obligation.  We’re not present, we’re just enduring and then checking it off the list. Well that’s no way to live life I thought. And then I started of thinking of times I was very present in life. And I found myself always around the table surrounded by food. I am so present when I’m out to dinner with friends or family. Hmm I thought, all of a sudden food was morphing into a form of self care. I tested my theory and the next morning, Saturday, I asked my husband if he wanted to go out to breakfast. So him, myself and my daughter went to one of my favorite little family friendly breakfast establishments and I had the best pancake. And he had a French press coffee and our daughter put stickers all up and down our arms while we waited for the food. And I thought, this is so lovely. We didn’t have our phones. We had no where else to be. And if my daughter hadn’t already overstayed her welcome my husband and I probably would have stayed another hour talking and drinking lattes and consuming more calories. And although we may have left eating more than we planned, we were recharged and happy.

Today everyone is always talking about self care. Meditation and baths and massages and “me time” and we never think of eating as a form of self care. That’s because most of us look back on each meal with shame for overeating.

But I think back to the last 6 months and my most present times, times of peace and happiness and enjoyment were out to eat. And every single time, I had high calorie fattening food. I over indulged way more than I planned. Could I have ordered something healthier? Yup. But for some reason that’s like going to an amusement park and not riding a single ride. Maybe we all need to admit that indulging in food is how we indulge in life. When I looked at food this way, it became such a positive thing. Calories became conversations. And fat became friendship.

I went out for coffee with a friend on Sunday night and told her how I felt about this new theory. Explained to her how food can be in vehicle to bring calm into our crazy lives. She agreed that some of her best most relaxing times is out to a good meal with her husband.

And I’ll tell you this much, I wouldn’t have made a memory eating cottage cheese and egg whites alone at my kitchen table. My point is, you can be on a strict diet and eat perfect and lose weight but look at how meals become obligations and your social life feels stressful. For so many years I thought happiness would come from weight loss. But maybe weight loss comes from happiness.

Happy Monday!