Tag: binge eating

Splitting the holidays stress is real.

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It’s not the pumpkin pie that causes weight gain people, it’s just not. It’s the triggers that throws you into that pumpkin pie. And with Thanksgiving approaching this week, we all must anticipate our emotional eating triggers.

Here’s one of the biggest…splitting the holidays.

I was out to brunch with my girlfriends this weekend and we were talking about who was going where for the holidays. Most of us have kids now and that brings another added layer of logistics for plans. I was sad that in our conversation everyone equally addressed how stressful splitting the holidays between families was. No one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. No one wants to leave anyone out or alone on the holidays. We were all focusing on who were were going to upset and not focusing on where we were going to be. So the holidays haven’t even begun and a constant feeling of guilt is overshadowing the season. And I know we aren’t the only people dealing with this. It doesn’t matter if you are married, single, divorced, a mom, a dad, a child, a sister, a brother, a best friend…we all have holiday guilt when it comes to the places we chose to celebrate each year. And that guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger that we have the guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger at ourselves because we are eating because of the anger makes us emotionally eat. That’s where the holiday weight gain comes in.

So let’s talk this out now,  because if we all talk more openly about how we feel over the holidays, we’re all going to be so darn thin because we aren’t going to eat these feelings!!

First, we must all accept that we all cannot be three places at once. So enjoy the moment and the place you are in that moment. Be thankful for the people who are at your table, not the people who aren’t at the moment. And before you put stress on a family member to attend, think of how hard there decision was. If a family member isn’t with you, it’s not because you aren’t loved. We are all so loved. We all love so many people. But we have to accept how hard splitting the holidays are for EVERYONE involved.

Second, think about yourself first. That sounds selfish but its actually the least selfish thing you can do. You have to think of what will make YOU happy over the holidays. If that means seeing your sister, but your sister cannot make it to your dinner then plan something special with her. If that means you opt out of a party because of the way the people there will make you feel, then honor that. Put yourself first.

And everyone…don’t over commit! Don’t over commit to plans. Don’t jam pack your holidays so much that you run yourself ragged. Don’t over commit to cooking or hosting. Offer to bring and do what you can. You don’t need to be the hero. And there is always SO much darn leftover food anyways. So if you only make the sweet potatoes this year, so be it. Tell someone else to make the stuffing.

When you wish someone else a happy holidays you mean it. But why not wish yourself a HAPPY holidays and honor your feelings so it truly is happy:)

Happy Monday!

I’ll be posting all holiday season about triggers than make us eat. Keep checking back <3

me, pink sweater, starbucks, window

Other holiday related posts you may like…

Why the holidays suck sometimes

How to NOT gain weight this holiday season

Diet Tips to eat better at Special Occasions

 

You need to clean your closet NOW. Here’s why!

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First, let me bust some major clothing myths that I believed for way too long…

  1. If you wear tighter clothes, you’ll be reminded to eat less.
  2. You should always keep smaller jeans within eye sight for motivation.
  3. Throw away all clothes that are too big so you never gain weight back.
  4. If you’re in between sizes, buy the smaller size as motivation.

All 4 of these are lies. And when you believe these myths we’re left with a closet full of clothes that don’t fit and a mad dash every other day to clean the two pairs of pants/leggings that do fit. If you’re anything like me, you have 700 articles of clothing, but wear the same 10 things in a weekly rotation.

My closet and drawers lately have been a disaster and I’ve found that getting dressed and getting out of the house has been stressful. I’ve gone back to the days of trying on 9 shirts before settling on the same one that always looks good and leaving my bed piled high with discards each morning.

This weekend, I did something about it. I decided to build a weight loss friendly closet. And that doesn’t just mean donating any and all clothes that don’t fit, it’s means organizing them in a way that you always feel happy and healthy when deciding what to wear.

Here’s what I did:

First, I laid everything on my bed that I don’t wear at the moment.

Then, I made piles. Pile 1 was for all the jeans and pants that for whatever reason at the moment don’t fit or feel good when wearing. However, since I have an emotional attachment to them I can’t just give them away. Some are smaller and I secretly hope to fit back into them someday. Some just have happy memories and are associated with times that I love thinking of. And others are just expensive and I can’t justify donating. But regardless, since at the moment, none of them fit, I don’t need to look at them everyday.

The next pile was for what I call, forever friends. For whatever reason certain shirts or dresses I can’t get rid of because of the slight chance I’ll need them again. These are the clothes that have a specific meaning and purpose. That outfit you may need for New Years.  That shirt you may need for a holiday party.  The dress you could possibly wear last minute to another wedding. Your high school sport shirts that you can’t possible throw away. And even workout clothes that are either expensive or might serve a purpose one day. It’s OK to keep all these clothes, but day to day, they cause clutter and chaos.

The next pile was simply seasonal, no big surprise here but I am someone who can go the entire year with jean shorts in my drawers.

The last pile was simply formal dresses. I always assume they belong in my closet but I decided I could neatly get them under the bed to make my closet less of a mess.

And of course, I had an ongoing donation pile.

clothes on bed

Then I focused my attention to detail and threw away all the random hangers I had, you know, the wire ones from the dry cleaner or the hangers from target with colorful sizes on them.

I then, organized all of these into my under the bed containers from Target so the are in my life, but aren’t in my eye sight each day.

clothes in containers

By the time I was done, I had neat drawers, and a closet filled with all clothes I wear on a regular basis RIGHT NOW. This morning I got dressed in point 4 seconds. And I also realized the exact thing I really need to shop for. The exact article of clothing that I DO need to bring more outfits together.

clothes in drawersclothes-in-closet.jpg

It’s important to give yourself permission to find ways to be the best version of yourself. We’ve all spent too much time wearing the size we think we should be. Trying to get to a weight  we think will make us happier. And wearing clothes that we think we’re supposed to wear. But keeping clothes and sizes in eye sight that don’t fit is completely causing the opposite of motivation. It’s causing stress and anxiety and that only triggers emotional eating more. Your clothes will always be there if you need them, whether under the bed like mine or in another place in your home where you store things. The same way we make a trip to storage to get our holiday decorations once a year, you can make that same trip to get an article of clothing you need once a year.

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

 

self talk is real

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I often talk about how I talk to myself constantly throughout the day. Its something that has become essential to me as I build a healthy relationship with food and my body. SO today I thought, why not post, and give you an insight into my mind…

It occurred to me recently that a big part of  my self talk is asking myself this question ….WHY?

Let me give you some examples:

When I say to myself, “I need to lose weight” The follow up question is always, “WHY?” Why do you need to lose weight? Is it because you truly need to for health reasons or is it because you are trying to find control in your life? Or is it for another reason you are scared to admit out loud…ie: you’re seeing an someone and want to make them jealous or you’re going on a trip and want to look better on social media…

If I say to yourself, “I can’t stop overeating”…The follow up question is always, WHY? Why can’t I stop eating? Am I really hungry? Or am I eating my feelings? Did something trigger me? How can I deal with that instead of dealing with the food?

If I say to yourself, I need to start  a diet Monday…The follow up question should be…Why? Why do you need to go down this path AGAIN. Why didn’t it work for you last time?

We often let food and diets drive our decisions. But it’s important to remember that the way you eat and diet isn’t the problem that needs to be fixed. Our thinking and our feelings need to be evaluated. Once we do that, eating better and dieting healthier is a symptom.

Food for thought on this Monday:)

cookie

 

The Monday Diet: The first diet ever written that has nothing to do with food.

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This diet is something I’ve thought about writing for a very long time. The idea came to me one day when I told my husband that therapy is the best diet I’ve ever been on.

When I first sat down in the therapist chair, I told my therapist I had a problem with food. I said, “I have no willpower.” I think about food all the time. I am obsessed with dieting. I can’t lose weight. Can you help me? She told me I was an emotional eater. Whenever I had something going on in my life that sparked emotion, it showed itself as food. Either eating a lot of food or restricting a lot of food. Either being on a diet or being completely off the wagon. I was skeptical at first, but the more we met and the more we talked, the more my emotional eating became so clear.  I slowly learned to connect everything I overate with an event that triggered emotion. I was also able to connect any obsessions with dieting as my way of numbing anxiety.  It wasn’t always easy to find the trigger or realize that something so small could trigger me, but when I really looked or swallowed my pride and admitted that something upset me, I was able to make the connection. That was the beginning of me learning that when you let emotions out, you don’t eat them in. When you let yourself feel emotions, you don’t have to numb them with food.

Because of my experience and what I have learned I believe that understanding the emotional component of dieting has been the biggest influence in my life. It’s been the most effective diet I’ve ever been on. If losing weight was as easy as eating healthy and exercising more, we’d all be thin. And since I’ve never binged on broccoli, I know emotional eating is what causes my weight gain, weight fluctuations, body image issues and obsession with dieting. One handful of licorice (my go-to binge food) isn’t going to move the scale, but when I eat the whole bag…that’s when the problems start.

That’s why I decided to pen the first ever diet, that has nothing to do with food. This diet doesn’t tell you what to eat. It doesn’t tell you how much to exercise. This diet was built on the emotional component of dieting. And as we all work to make 2018 our year, I hope you consider giving this diet a try. I promise, it’s everything! For lack of creativity…we’ll call this: The Monday Diet.

FIRST WHAT TO ELIMINATE: Instead of eliminating high sugar and high fat foods, Eliminate (or limit):

  • Toxic friends
  • Time with family members who trigger us
  • Self-Doubt
  • Feeling guilty
  • The scale
  • Comparing ourselves to others

Instead of tracking exactly what you eat, Track:

  • When you eat
  • When you choose to not eat healthy
  • When you find yourself completely overeating
  • When you find yourself unable to stop eating

Instead of eating certain foods based on a diet plan, organize your food choices into 2 groups

  1. Food
  2. Emotional Food

Food is everything healthy you eat. Fruits, vegetables, protein, healthy fats, grains, beans, yogurt, you name it.. it’s in this group. Also in this group is any “unhealthy food” you eat with intention. I eat dessert after every meal. It ends the meal for me. It may be 1 chocolate chip cookie or sometimes 4 mini peanut butter cups.  I eat them. They are in the “food group.” When I reach for the second cookie and then the third that  spills into the emotional food category. When I’ve eaten dinner and my dessert and I’m still opening up the cabinet and eating 12 handfuls of animal crackers before bed, that spills over into emotional food. The emotional foods are the foods that hinder us from losing weight. The emotional foods are the foods we eat beyond hunger.

These two food groups pertain to meals as well. I used to cut out foods like bagels, pizza and Chinese food because I had labeled them as “bad foods” or “non- diet foods.” Now if I eat a slice of pizza for dinner, it’s just a food. But when I eat 3 slices of pizza followed by 6 garlic knots and lasagna, it’s emotional food.

As someone who is studying to be a registered dietician, I know the importance of eating for our health. I am not saying eat pizza and pasta for all meals. I am saying that when we aren’t emotional eating, we naturally tend to pick foods, like fruits and vegetables, that promote health. After all, we like these foods. We like the taste and we like the way they make us feel. Our eating mimics how we feel. When we feel like crap, we eat like crap.

The hardest part about this diet is that its up to us to put the breaks on emotional eating. The only way that can happen is to address the emotional trigger. Bring awareness to the fact that something or someone is causing us to want to eat. That, I have found, will suppress my appetite more than anything else. Realizing WHY I am eating beyond normal amounts of food. Let your emotions out, don’t eat them in. This diet, my friends, is an absolute game changer.

For anyone who feels they’d like stricter instructions for this diet plan feel free to email me at mondaydieter@gmail.com

I’d be happy to talk more! Happy Monday!! xo

monday-d

How to overcome emotional eating

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I long to be the type of person who can just eat one Oreo, but for me, it’s the whole sleeve.

The urge to snack sneaks up on us with absolutely no warning.  It’s hard to describe that urge.  But the minute the flood gates open, during a single episode of Modern Family, I can easily put back an extra 500 calories.

I have always envied the type of person who can eat one cookie and move on. Grab a Twizzler and get on with their day. Have one or two chips with a bowl of chili. And week after week at the grocery store I would convince myself that I could be that person; this would be the week I learned self control. So I would buy one or two of my favorite things hoping that each night just one bite would do the trick. It never did.

As each snack session came to a close & the whole sleeve or half bag was gone, I felt weak.  Worse, I was disappointed in myself for upholding my reputation of being the girl who always seemed to exceed the serving size.

One night after half a bag of Tostitos (Hint Of Lime flavor) I was feeling particularly angry at myself when it hit me… I will never be her. I will never be a single-serving kinda girl.

Yet, still in denial after the Tostito incident of 2013, I did what any rational 30-year-old woman does; placed blame on someone else. For me, it was my husband. After all, he brought home the irresistible, cantina-style, white grain tortilla with just the right amount of artificial lime flavoring.  Must be nice to be him, must be nice to never know what it’s like to feel fat, or bloated or out of control in the face of carbohydrates.

Resentment is a place none of us should visit frequently. More importantly, we shouldn’t drag our loved ones there because of our hang-ups.

When I sobered up and realized how irrational I was being, blaming my poor husband for what I had eaten, I did something that made me feel completely vulnerable. I asked my husband to hide the chips from me. If he wanted chips, cookies or candy in the house I didn’t want to know where they were. I felt embarrassed by this. My husband didn’t make me feel embarrassed in the slightest; he actually didn’t think twice about slipping the chips into a cabinet I couldn’t reach. But, I felt ashamed.  How pathetic am I that I am asking my husband to hide food from me? How weak am I? How helpless am I? Basically what kind of a freak am I? I still feel a pang of embarrassment even writing this.

But, that was the best thing I ever did.

The weeks following, when I had food hidden from me, I had time to think and reflect.  Although I thought not having the food in the house was the reason I felt more in control, it wasn’t. I felt more in control because I had admitted, out loud, to a person I love that I was powerless.  I accepted my weakness instead of trying to fight it alone.  Little did I know that insecurity of mine, the insecurity of labeling myself the entire sleeve of Oreo’s girl was seriously shaming me.  And that day, I shed the shame.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t sworn off Tostitos.  I haven’t sworn off Oreos.  Because remember, we don’t do the all or nothing thing here. And although I do admit it’s rare we have these types of foods in our house, it’s more than that. It’s understanding who you are and that sometimes you have to get out of your head.  When you take advantage of a support system, you might be surprised how your struggles dissolve and how much stronger you are then a sleeve of cookies.