Why I became successful keeping a New Year’s resolution once I stopped trying to lose weight…

January 5, 2020January 5, 20204 Comments

Happy New Year, Readers! Thanks for stopping by today! It’s been a while since I posted. In June I started working on a new amazing daytime talk show called The Mel Robbins Show. If you haven’t seen it yet, please take a look! As I focused on launching this amazing new show, I focused my attention on work, being a mom and continuing my degree and put this happy place of mine, Monday Dieter, on hiatus. But I missed you! I hope you didn’t miss me too much. I had a couple weeks off from work and was inspired to write.

My inspiration to write came as I was leaving the grocery store today. I went to the grocery store to get ingredients for a three bean turkey chili i was making for the first time. I was making this because my New Year’s resolution this year is to try and cook more. I even quantified the resolution so I had a roadmap. 1 new recipe per week. So essentially 52 new recipes this year. Literally recipes could be as simple as “a baked potato.” Because that’s something I’ve never ever attempted to cook before. Not complicated but the payout for me was huge.

Well it’s 5 days into the New Year and I am already 5 recipes in, that’s how much I am enjoying this resolution. As I walked out of the grocery store today with my bag of ingredients, I wondered when New Year’s resolutions became fun for me and actually achievable. Then I knew the exact moment, it happened about 5 years ago when my New Year resolutions stopped being “to lose weight.” That was my resolution for WAY too many years. And I always took this to the extreme. I will never eat sugar again, Id convince myself on Dec. 31. I will never eat a processed food ever again, I will lose 700 pounds this year and all my problems will begin to be solved the minute the clock strikes midnight. I always woke up on New Year’s day with a little hope and a whole lot of dread. That’s because I lived my whole life in two settings. Setting 1, eating a salad with 3 oz. of grilled chicken and 1 tbsp. of salad dressing for diner or setting 2, 7 slices of pizza, a sleeve of Oreos, a bag of candy and a small child.

When I stopped living in those two settings, I also stopped making extreme New Year’s resolutions. When I stopped making extreme New Year’s resolutions I stopped failing at every resolution. Resolutions became fun and actually beneficial to life when I was actually able to do them. About 4 years ago a resolution of mine was to start a face washing anti-aging regime a couple days a week since I was never consistent. It’s now a part of my daily life. It was easy to achieve, I didn’t dread it and I loved the results. One year it was to floss 3 days a week (don’t judge) and I’ve been flossing for 3 years now.

So today, if you are reading this and have already given up on your resolution, I encourage you to change it to something more achievable, more realistic and more doable. If it feels exhausting, it’s too extreme. Everyone talks about setting your standards high. When it comes to making a change, I disagree. Set your standards low and exceed your own damn expectations. And reevaluate constantly. If its not working, change it, tweak it, make SOMETHING work for you, anything. “Losing weight,” “getting healthy,” “being successful at work,” these are NOT resolutions, these are generic statements with no game plan. Resolve to a portion of your plan that leads you to who you want to be in 2020. This will change your year! I promise!

Happy Monday!

What is a calorie?

February 19, 2019February 19, 2019Leave a comment

I was at a party this weekend and someone asked me this question and I thought it’s not exactly the easiest thing to define. So let me try to help you understand it a little better and maybe it will then help you understand your food label a little more.

The most commonly known definition of a calorie is the energy needed to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water through 1 °C. Probably not what you were expecting to hear right? And a lot of science and research is involved in how this original definition became the calories that we today know on the standard US Food Labels. So how do we simply understand that connection between that definition and what we eat? Well, energy used by the body is ultimately derived from the energy contained in the fat, carbs and protein we eat. So every time you eat, imagine energy being released into your body as heat. See the connection back to the original definition kind of? It’s confusing. And I don’t think you technically need to know that to the benefit of your health. The most important calorie information to me is how calories are calculated to give you totals on your food labels.

A food label for a Frozen Pizza.

TOTAL CALORIES IN 1 SERVING (1/3 of the pizza) = 340 calories

TOTAL FAT = 13 grams

TOTAL CARBS = 39 grams

TOTAL PROTEIN = 19 grams

1 gram of fat has 9 calories. So multiply 13 grams X 9 calories = 117 calories

1 gram of carbs has 4 calories. So multiply 39 grams X 4 calories = 156 calories

1 gram of protein has 4 calories. So multiply 19 grams X 4calories =76 calories

Then add that all together. 117 calories from fat+156 calories from carbs+ 76 calories from fat = 349 total calories. Pretty close to the 340 calorie total stated on the package for 1/3 of pizza. The total when using the 4-4-9 method will always be close to the total calories the package states. It may be exact and it may be a little off because this is an overly simplified method and FDA regulations for U.S. foods say individual companies can use different approved methods for determining Calories for their food. It will always be close, but maybe a few calories different. This is another reason why it’s important not to live and die so strictly to the calories in vs. calories out philosophy.

So you see where the calories come from? And kind of how they are calculated? And of course every grams of fat, carbs and protein offer different nutrients and vitamins and act different in the body. Which we’ll talk more about in a later lesson:)!

Splitting the holidays stress is real.

November 19, 2018November 19, 2018Leave a comment

It’s not the pumpkin pie that causes weight gain people, it’s just not. It’s the triggers that throws you into that pumpkin pie. And with Thanksgiving approaching this week, we all must anticipate our emotional eating triggers.

Here’s one of the biggest…splitting the holidays.

I was out to brunch with my girlfriends this weekend and we were talking about who was going where for the holidays. Most of us have kids now and that brings another added layer of logistics for plans. I was sad that in our conversation everyone equally addressed how stressful splitting the holidays between families was. No one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. No one wants to leave anyone out or alone on the holidays. We were all focusing on who were were going to upset and not focusing on where we were going to be. So the holidays haven’t even begun and a constant feeling of guilt is overshadowing the season. And I know we aren’t the only people dealing with this. It doesn’t matter if you are married, single, divorced, a mom, a dad, a child, a sister, a brother, a best friend…we all have holiday guilt when it comes to the places we chose to celebrate each year. And that guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger that we have the guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger at ourselves because we are eating because of the anger makes us emotionally eat. That’s where the holiday weight gain comes in.

So let’s talk this out now, because if we all talk more openly about how we feel over the holidays, we’re all going to be so darn thin because we aren’t going to eat these feelings!!

First, we must all accept that we all cannot be three places at once. So enjoy the moment and the place you are in that moment. Be thankful for the people who are at your table, not the people who aren’t at the moment. And before you put stress on a family member to attend, think of how hard there decision was. If a family member isn’t with you, it’s not because you aren’t loved. We are all so loved. We all love so many people. But we have to accept how hard splitting the holidays are for EVERYONE involved.

Second, think about yourself first. That sounds selfish but its actually the least selfish thing you can do. You have to think of what will make YOU happy over the holidays. If that means seeing your sister, but your sister cannot make it to your dinner then plan something special with her. If that means you opt out of a party because of the way the people there will make you feel, then honor that. Put yourself first.

And everyone…don’t over commit! Don’t over commit to plans. Don’t jam pack your holidays so much that you run yourself ragged. Don’t over commit to cooking or hosting. Offer to bring and do what you can. You don’t need to be the hero. And there is always SO much darn leftover food anyways. So if you only make the sweet potatoes this year, so be it. Tell someone else to make the stuffing.

When you wish someone else a happy holidays you mean it. But why not wish yourself a HAPPY holidays and honor your feelings so it truly is happy:)

Happy Monday!

I’ll be posting all holiday season about triggers than make us eat. Keep checking back <3

Other holiday related posts you may like…

Why the holidays suck sometimes

How to NOT gain weight this holiday season

Diet Tips to eat better at Special Occasions

A new weight loss tip to clear the mind and reduce stress!

November 12, 2018November 12, 20181 Comment

If you are staring in the mirror this morning in the same place you were last week…you may need a new weight loss tip.

Tell me if you relate to this scenario…

You currently weigh X, lets say that’s 147 pounds. And you want to weigh Y, lets say that’s 135 pounds. (Note these are completely made up numbers)

And the past year you’ve continued to weigh in at around X (147 pounds). Maybe you fluctuated up or down a few pounds from X, but never made it anywhere close to Y (135 pounds)

And you’re so focused on getting to Y, that Y can fee like a huge pile of laundry you don’t have enough time or energy to fold so you leave it sitting in the dryer. For days. And then, if you’re like me, your dryer becomes your drawer and for the next week and you take what you need from the unfolded pile…still no energy to fold.

This is a current scenario for me. Both laundry & weight. I’ve let myself become so completely fixated on my Y that I stay consistently at X. It hit me the other day, why haven’t I ever changed my goal weight?

So in our example, you weigh X (147 pounds) and you want to get to Y (135 pounds) but today you change Y to 142 pounds….the goal feels much more doable. And although that number may feel too high for comfort, think of how good you’ll feel if you just get there… after all you haven’t been to that number in god knows how long…

In anything we’re trying to accomplish, we should meet ourselves in the middle. We’re always stuck in an extreme all or nothing mentality. And that mentality is such a sneaky little sabotage.

Here’s another example, I say, “I’m going to do a 10 day cleanse” but by day 2 (sometimes hour 2) it feels so hard that I say to myself, there is no way I can do this for another 9 days. So I quit. What if we just said, I’m going to do a 1 day cleanse. And then reevaluate the next day. Maybe you just do a 3 day cleanse, but regardless, meet yourself in the middle. Put yourself in a position to succeed. You deserve that!!

Happy Monday!

Weight Loss Closet Cleanout

November 5, 2018November 5, 2018Leave a comment

First, let me bust some major clothing myths that I believed for way too long…

If you wear tighter clothes, you’ll be reminded to eat less.
You should always keep smaller jeans within eye sight for motivation.
Throw away all clothes that are too big so you never gain weight back.
If you’re in between sizes, buy the smaller size as motivation.

All 4 of these are lies. And when you believe these myths we’re left with a closet full of clothes that don’t fit and a mad dash every other day to clean the two pairs of pants/leggings that do fit. If you’re anything like me, you have 700 articles of clothing, but wear the same 10 things in a weekly rotation.

My closet and drawers lately have been a disaster and I’ve found that getting dressed and getting out of the house has been stressful. I’ve gone back to the days of trying on 9 shirts before settling on the same one that always looks good and leaving my bed piled high with discards each morning.

This weekend, I did something about it. I decided to build a weight loss friendly closet. And that doesn’t just mean donating any and all clothes that don’t fit, it’s means organizing them in a way that you always feel happy and healthy when deciding what to wear.

Here’s what I did:

First, I laid everything on my bed that I don’t wear at the moment.

Then, I made piles. Pile 1 was for all the jeans and pants that for whatever reason at the moment don’t fit or feel good when wearing. However, since I have an emotional attachment to them I can’t just give them away. Some are smaller and I secretly hope to fit back into them someday. Some just have happy memories and are associated with times that I love thinking of. And others are just expensive and I can’t justify donating. But regardless, since at the moment, none of them fit, I don’t need to look at them everyday.

The next pile was for what I call, forever friends. For whatever reason certain shirts or dresses I can’t get rid of because of the slight chance I’ll need them again. These are the clothes that have a specific meaning and purpose. That outfit you may need for New Years. That shirt you may need for a holiday party. The dress you could possibly wear last minute to another wedding. Your high school sport shirts that you can’t possible throw away. And even workout clothes that are either expensive or might serve a purpose one day. It’s OK to keep all these clothes, but day to day, they cause clutter and chaos.

The next pile was simply seasonal, no big surprise here but I am someone who can go the entire year with jean shorts in my drawers.

The last pile was simply formal dresses. I always assume they belong in my closet but I decided I could neatly get them under the bed to make my closet less of a mess.

And of course, I had an ongoing donation pile.

Then I focused my attention to detail and threw away all the random hangers I had, you know, the wire ones from the dry cleaner or the hangers from target with colorful sizes on them.

I then, organized all of these into my under the bed containers from Target so the are in my life, but aren’t in my eye sight each day.

By the time I was done, I had neat drawers, and a closet filled with all clothes I wear on a regular basis RIGHT NOW. This morning I got dressed in point 4 seconds. And I also realized the exact thing I really need to shop for. The exact article of clothing that I DO need to bring more outfits together.

It’s important to give yourself permission to find ways to be the best version of yourself. We’ve all spent too much time wearing the size we think we should be. Trying to get to a weight we think will make us happier. And wearing clothes that we think we’re supposed to wear. But keeping clothes and sizes in eye sight that don’t fit is completely causing the opposite of motivation. It’s causing stress and anxiety and that only triggers emotional eating more. Your clothes will always be there if you need them, whether under the bed like mine or in another place in your home where you store things. The same way we make a trip to storage to get our holiday decorations once a year, you can make that same trip to get an article of clothing you need once a year.

Happy Monday!

Let your mind help you lose weight.

October 29, 2018November 5, 2018Leave a comment

I often talk about how I talk to myself constantly throughout the day. Its something that has become essential to me as I build a healthy relationship with food and my body. SO today I thought, why not post, and give you an insight into my mind…

It occurred to me recently that a big part of my self talk is asking myself this question ….WHY?

Let me give you some examples:

When I say to myself, “I need to lose weight” The follow up question is always, “WHY?” Why do you need to lose weight? Is it because you truly need to for health reasons or is it because you are trying to find control in your life? Or is it for another reason you are scared to admit out loud…ie: you’re seeing an someone and want to make them jealous or you’re going on a trip and want to look better on social media…

If I say to yourself, “I can’t stop overeating”…The follow up question is always, WHY? Why can’t I stop eating? Am I really hungry? Or am I eating my feelings? Did something trigger me? How can I deal with that instead of dealing with the food?

If I say to yourself, I need to start a diet Monday…The follow up question should be…Why? Why do you need to go down this path AGAIN. Why didn’t it work for you last time?

We often let food and diets drive our decisions. But it’s important to remember that the way you eat and diet isn’t the problem that needs to be fixed. Our thinking and our feelings need to be evaluated. Once we do that, eating better and dieting healthier is a symptom.

Food for thought on this Monday:)