I really think we should banish the phrase goal weight.

If you are staring in the mirror this morning in the same place you were last week…you may need a new weight loss tip.

Tell me if you relate to this scenario…

You currently weigh X, lets say that’s 147 pounds. And you want to weigh Y, lets say that’s 135 pounds. (Note these are completely made up numbers)

And the past year you’ve continued to weigh in at around X (147 pounds). Maybe you fluctuated up or down a few pounds  from X, but never made it anywhere close to Y (135 pounds)

And you’re so focused on getting to Y, that Y can feel like a huge pile of laundry you don’t have enough time or energy to fold so you leave it sitting in the dryer. For days. And then, if you’re like me, your dryer becomes your drawer and for the next week and you take what you need from the unfolded pile…still no energy to fold.

This is a current scenario for me. Both laundry & weight.  I’ve let myself become so completely fixated on my Y that I stay consistently at X. It hit me the other day, why haven’t I ever changed my goal weight?

So in our example, you weigh X (147 pounds) and you want to get to Y (135 pounds) but today you change Y to 142 pounds….the goal feels much more doable. And although that number may feel too high for comfort, think of how good you’ll feel if you just get there… after all you haven’t been to that number in god knows how long…

In anything we’re trying to accomplish, we should meet ourselves in the middle. We’re always stuck in an extreme all or nothing mentality. And that mentality is such a sneaky little sabotage.

Here’s another example, I say, “I’m going to do a 10 day cleanse” but by day 2 (sometimes hour 2) it feels so hard that I say to myself, there is no way I can do this for another 9 days. So I quit. What if we just said, I’m going to do a 1 day cleanse. And then reevaluate the next day. Maybe you just do a 3 day cleanse, but regardless, meet yourself in the middle. Put yourself in a position to succeed. You deserve that!!

Happy Monday!

self talk is real

I often talk about how I talk to myself constantly throughout the day. Its something that has become essential to me as I build a healthy relationship with food and my body. SO today I thought, why not post, and give you an insight into my mind…

It occurred to me recently that a big part of  my self talk is asking myself this question ….WHY?

Let me give you some examples:

When I say to myself, “I need to lose weight” The follow up question is always, “WHY?” Why do you need to lose weight? Is it because you truly need to for health reasons or is it because you are trying to find control in your life? Or is it for another reason you are scared to admit out loud…ie: you’re seeing an someone and want to make them jealous or you’re going on a trip and want to look better on social media…

If I say to yourself, “I can’t stop overeating”…The follow up question is always, WHY? Why can’t I stop eating? Am I really hungry? Or am I eating my feelings? Did something trigger me? How can I deal with that instead of dealing with the food?

If I say to yourself, I need to start  a diet Monday…The follow up question should be…Why? Why do you need to go down this path AGAIN. Why didn’t it work for you last time?

We often let food and diets drive our decisions. But it’s important to remember that the way you eat and diet isn’t the problem that needs to be fixed. Our thinking and our feelings need to be evaluated. Once we do that, eating better and dieting healthier is a symptom.

Food for thought on this Monday:)

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I tried on the same size pair of jeans at every store in the mall…Here’s what happened!

If you are like me you have spent your whole life trying to find the perfect pair of jeans. Anyone who says jeans are comfortable, in my mind, can’t be trusted. I actually dread putting jeans on every morning. The first thing I do when I get home from work is walk to my room and take my jeans off. THE. FIRST. THING. Furthermore, we all say that size doesn’t matter but no one can deny that it does affect us emotionally. That’s why I did my own social experiment in vanity sizing. My friend Sarah dropped me off at the mall & I walked the entire perimeter of both floors and stopped in every store I’d typically buy jeans in. I picked up the same size pair of jeans at each store. To keep things somewhat consistent, the jeans I tried on in each store were the pair on the table in the front of the store. My rationale, those were the jeans I’d probably want since they are the most in style. I picked up the jean wash in all, no whites or blacks or colored jeans. I proceeded to the dressing room & tried each on. I took pictures & notes. Here’s what happened!

(Ranked below in order of “Fit” to “I can’t get these jeans up over my knees”)

Forever 21: Fit, would purchase.

Charlotte Russe: Fit, would purchase.

NY & Co: Fit, would purchase

Banana Republic: Fit, but snug, would purchase BUT would need to wear a flowy top to hide the slight muffin top.

J-Crew: Fit, but snug, would need bigger size if I was going to purchase & wear comfortably.

Express: Zipped, tiny muffin top, would need 1 size bigger if I was going to purchase.

American Eagle: Zipped, but major major muffin top, major wiggle dance to get in them. I would need 2 sizes bigger if I was going to purchase.

Holister: MADE IT HALFWAY UP MY BUTT. That’s it. Would have been a major rip IF I had continued. Would need at least 2 sizes up if I was going to purchase.

Aeropostale: Nope, not gonna zip. Would need at least 2 sizes bigger if I was going to purchase

Gap: DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT PAST MY HIPS. LEGIT stopped. I would need 3 sizes bigger if I was going to purchase- This was shocking to me!!!

These results aren’t shocking.  We all know that jeans fit us all so differently. And in no way is this a scientifically controlled experiment. It’s the real and raw reality of jean shopping. It’s a glimpse at just how frustrating it is to shop for jeans. How hard we work to find the perfect fit. How much money we spend on a pair of jeans that look good. And how often we DO think of that size. We often buy the smaller size as “motivation” to lose weight which is the most stressful thing we can do to ourselves. We often squeeze ourselves into the smaller size just so we know we are wearing the smaller size. And here’s what upsets me most, when you go try on jeans, if you’re like me, you always take the smaller size in hopes they fit. When they don’t, you subconsciously make a new goal to fit into those. It’s actually maddening. And we need to take back power of those tags.

I hope you think of this social experiment the next time you try on a pair of jeans and they don’t fit. There is literally only one reason I’d run around the mall trying on every pair, it’s because I feel so passionately about every woman ending the war they wage on their bodies. Remember, don’t blame yourself. As you can see from above, it’s NOT your fault that some jeans fit and some you can’t wiggle over your knees. You deserve more than to let a tiny number on the back of your pants determine your true value. And when all else fails, just f*cking wear leggings:)

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Here what to do if you ate too much

MOVE ON!

Sometimes I have long drawn out posts written and then in my own life I’m thinking about how I feel personally and my post transitions into 2 simple words that I have to tell myself constantly… MOVE ON.

Move on from the self loathing, move on from the eating regret, move on from any and all extreme thinking of how to undo damage.

As I was driving home last night from my Superbowl party (which was highly documented on Instagram as my husband is the biggest Eagles fan ever) I was kind of beating myself up over what I had eaten that day. I had too many chips. One too many chocolate covered Oreos and then to keep myself awake on the drive home I polished off a bag of Twizzler’s Licorice Nibs that I keep in my glove compartment for “emergencies.” I feel the way we all feel after eating crap…like crap.

Physically feelings aside, the mental aspect is the hardest. That’s because in moments of eating regret we often look to a quick fix. We look to fix the damage we’ve done as soon as possible. We start thinking of fad diets and ways to starve ourselves the next day. We continue to beat ourselves up. Frankly, it’s exhausting. In those moments, I have to just say to myself, move on Nicole. You ate what you ate. Tomorrow is a new day and you will continue to do the best you can tomorrow. If you gained a pound, who cares. Literally who cares! You’re too good to be brought down by bad eating.

Move on. No need to dwell, nothing needs to be done, just enjoy this new day:)

Happy Monday!

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Images from Totallythebomb.com

 

The Monday Diet: The first diet ever written that has nothing to do with food.

This diet is something I’ve thought about writing for a very long time. The idea came to me one day when I told my husband that therapy is the best diet I’ve ever been on.

When I first sat down in the therapist chair, I told my therapist I had a problem with food. I said, “I have no willpower.” I think about food all the time. I am obsessed with dieting. I can’t lose weight. Can you help me? She told me I was an emotional eater. Whenever I had something going on in my life that sparked emotion, it showed itself as food. Either eating a lot of food or restricting a lot of food. Either being on a diet or being completely off the wagon. I was skeptical at first, but the more we met and the more we talked, the more my emotional eating became so clear.  I slowly learned to connect everything I overate with an event that triggered emotion. I was also able to connect any obsessions with dieting as my way of numbing anxiety.  It wasn’t always easy to find the trigger or realize that something so small could trigger me, but when I really looked or swallowed my pride and admitted that something upset me, I was able to make the connection. That was the beginning of me learning that when you let emotions out, you don’t eat them in. When you let yourself feel emotions, you don’t have to numb them with food.

Because of my experience and what I have learned I believe that understanding the emotional component of dieting has been the biggest influence in my life. It’s been the most effective diet I’ve ever been on. If losing weight was as easy as eating healthy and exercising more, we’d all be thin. And since I’ve never binged on broccoli, I know emotional eating is what causes my weight gain, weight fluctuations, body image issues and obsession with dieting. One handful of licorice (my go-to binge food) isn’t going to move the scale, but when I eat the whole bag…that’s when the problems start.

That’s why I decided to pen the first ever diet, that has nothing to do with food. This diet doesn’t tell you what to eat. It doesn’t tell you how much to exercise. This diet was built on the emotional component of dieting. And as we all work to make 2018 our year, I hope you consider giving this diet a try. I promise, it’s everything! For lack of creativity…we’ll call this: The Monday Diet.

FIRST WHAT TO ELIMINATE: Instead of eliminating high sugar and high fat foods, Eliminate (or limit):

  • Toxic friends
  • Time with family members who trigger us
  • Self-Doubt
  • Feeling guilty
  • The scale
  • Comparing ourselves to others

Instead of tracking exactly what you eat, Track:

  • When you eat
  • When you choose to not eat healthy
  • When you find yourself completely overeating
  • When you find yourself unable to stop eating

Instead of eating certain foods based on a diet plan, organize your food choices into 2 groups

  1. Food
  2. Emotional Food

Food is everything healthy you eat. Fruits, vegetables, protein, healthy fats, grains, beans, yogurt, you name it.. it’s in this group. Also in this group is any “unhealthy food” you eat with intention. I eat dessert after every meal. It ends the meal for me. It may be 1 chocolate chip cookie or sometimes 4 mini peanut butter cups.  I eat them. They are in the “food group.” When I reach for the second cookie and then the third that  spills into the emotional food category. When I’ve eaten dinner and my dessert and I’m still opening up the cabinet and eating 12 handfuls of animal crackers before bed, that spills over into emotional food. The emotional foods are the foods that hinder us from losing weight. The emotional foods are the foods we eat beyond hunger.

These two food groups pertain to meals as well. I used to cut out foods like bagels, pizza and Chinese food because I had labeled them as “bad foods” or “non- diet foods.” Now if I eat a slice of pizza for dinner, it’s just a food. But when I eat 3 slices of pizza followed by 6 garlic knots and lasagna, it’s emotional food.

As someone who is studying to be a registered dietician, I know the importance of eating for our health. I am not saying eat pizza and pasta for all meals. I am saying that when we aren’t emotional eating, we naturally tend to pick foods, like fruits and vegetables, that promote health. After all, we like these foods. We like the taste and we like the way they make us feel. Our eating mimics how we feel. When we feel like crap, we eat like crap.

The hardest part about this diet is that its up to us to put the breaks on emotional eating. The only way that can happen is to address the emotional trigger. Bring awareness to the fact that something or someone is causing us to want to eat. That, I have found, will suppress my appetite more than anything else. Realizing WHY I am eating beyond normal amounts of food. Let your emotions out, don’t eat them in. This diet, my friends, is an absolute game changer.

For anyone who feels they’d like stricter instructions for this diet plan feel free to email me at mondaydieter@gmail.com

I’d be happy to talk more! Happy Monday!! xo

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Who are we without cookies?

brooke.jpgWe’ve all had relationships we regret. Jobs we regret. Conversations we regret. We’ve all acted a way we regret. We all have times or situations in our life that we wish went a different way. We all feel like we’ve been given the short end of the stick in some area of our lives. And if you’re reading this, weight may be the area you feel slighted in.

I often wish things were different when I step on the scale. Ugh, If I didn’t have emotional eating issues I wouldn’t be this weight. I often think  of this when I rush to midtown to make a 4:45 therapy appointment. If I didn’t have eating issues I’d be home right now and not stressed trying to get out of work to make this appointment. I often think of this on Saturday mornings at brunch when I choose an egg white omelet instead of Belgium waffles. If I could eat whatever I want life would be better.

It’s so easy for us to go down that deep dark rabbit hole. Wishing things were different. Wishing we didn’t have flaws.  Wishing we made different decisions.

But then I remind myself, if I didn’t have these flaws would I even be me?! No seriously, would I be?! Nope. My eating issues make me empathetic. My eating issues have helped my career. My eating issues have given me Monday Dieter!

It’s the same as the  failed relationships that brought you the person you are supposed to be with today. It’s the same way a failed job brought you a better opportunity. The same way bad situations have taught you a bigger lesson. All these things we view as negative all shaped us in positive ways. The number on the scale, the size of our jeans, our struggles with food, it’s shaped us to be the person we are today. The amazing person. And today, I decided to be thankful for that, instead of frustrated. And I encourage you to do the same:)

Happy Monday!

Don’t forget to buy your official Monday Dieter T-Shirt! Rock the message <3

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brooke