Splitting the holidays stress is real.

It’s not the pumpkin pie that causes weight gain people, it’s just not. It’s the triggers that throws you into that pumpkin pie. And with Thanksgiving approaching this week, we all must anticipate our emotional eating triggers.

Here’s one of the biggest…splitting the holidays.

I was out to brunch with my girlfriends this weekend and we were talking about who was going where for the holidays. Most of us have kids now and that brings another added layer of logistics for plans. I was sad that in our conversation everyone equally addressed how stressful splitting the holidays between families was. No one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. No one wants to leave anyone out or alone on the holidays. We were all focusing on who were were going to upset and not focusing on where we were going to be. So the holidays haven’t even begun and a constant feeling of guilt is overshadowing the season. And I know we aren’t the only people dealing with this. It doesn’t matter if you are married, single, divorced, a mom, a dad, a child, a sister, a brother, a best friend…we all have holiday guilt when it comes to the places we chose to celebrate each year. And that guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger that we have the guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger at ourselves because we are eating because of the anger makes us emotionally eat. That’s where the holiday weight gain comes in.

So let’s talk this out now,  because if we all talk more openly about how we feel over the holidays, we’re all going to be so darn thin because we aren’t going to eat these feelings!!

First, we must all accept that we all cannot be three places at once. So enjoy the moment and the place you are in that moment. Be thankful for the people who are at your table, not the people who aren’t at the moment. And before you put stress on a family member to attend, think of how hard there decision was. If a family member isn’t with you, it’s not because you aren’t loved. We are all so loved. We all love so many people. But we have to accept how hard splitting the holidays are for EVERYONE involved.

Second, think about yourself first. That sounds selfish but its actually the least selfish thing you can do. You have to think of what will make YOU happy over the holidays. If that means seeing your sister, but your sister cannot make it to your dinner then plan something special with her. If that means you opt out of a party because of the way the people there will make you feel, then honor that. Put yourself first.

And everyone…don’t over commit! Don’t over commit to plans. Don’t jam pack your holidays so much that you run yourself ragged. Don’t over commit to cooking or hosting. Offer to bring and do what you can. You don’t need to be the hero. And there is always SO much darn leftover food anyways. So if you only make the sweet potatoes this year, so be it. Tell someone else to make the stuffing.

When you wish someone else a happy holidays you mean it. But why not wish yourself a HAPPY holidays and honor your feelings so it truly is happy:)

Happy Monday!

I’ll be posting all holiday season about triggers than make us eat. Keep checking back <3

me, pink sweater, starbucks, window

Other holiday related posts you may like…

Why the holidays suck sometimes

How to NOT gain weight this holiday season

Diet Tips to eat better at Special Occasions

 

A new weight loss tip to clear the mind and reduce stress!

If you are staring in the mirror this morning in the same place you were last week…you may need a new weight loss tip.

Tell me if you relate to this scenario…

You currently weigh X, lets say that’s 147 pounds. And you want to weigh Y, lets say that’s 135 pounds. (Note these are completely made up numbers)

And the past year you’ve continued to weigh in at around X (147 pounds). Maybe you fluctuated up or down a few pounds  from X, but never made it anywhere close to Y (135 pounds)

And you’re so focused on getting to Y, that Y can fee like a huge pile of laundry you don’t have enough time or energy to fold so you leave it sitting in the dryer. For days. And then, if you’re like me, your dryer becomes your drawer and for the next week and you take what you need from the unfolded pile…still no energy to fold.

This is a current scenario for me. Both laundry & weight.  I’ve let myself become so completely fixated on my Y that I stay consistently at X. It hit me the other day, why haven’t I ever changed my goal weight?

So in our example, you weigh X (147 pounds) and you want to get to Y (135 pounds) but today you change Y to 142 pounds….the goal feels much more doable. And although that number may feel too high for comfort, think of how good you’ll feel if you just get there… after all you haven’t been to that number in god knows how long…

In anything we’re trying to accomplish, we should meet ourselves in the middle. We’re always stuck in an extreme all or nothing mentality. And that mentality is such a sneaky little sabotage.

Here’s another example, I say, “I’m going to do a 10 day cleanse” but by day 2 (sometimes hour 2) it feels so hard that I say to myself, there is no way I can do this for another 9 days. So I quit. What if we just said, I’m going to do a 1 day cleanse. And then reevaluate the next day. Maybe you just do a 3 day cleanse, but regardless, meet yourself in the middle. Put yourself in a position to succeed. You deserve that!!

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

Let your mind help you lose weight.

I often talk about how I talk to myself constantly throughout the day. Its something that has become essential to me as I build a healthy relationship with food and my body. SO today I thought, why not post, and give you an insight into my mind…

It occurred to me recently that a big part of  my self talk is asking myself this question ….WHY?

Let me give you some examples:

When I say to myself, “I need to lose weight” The follow up question is always, “WHY?” Why do you need to lose weight? Is it because you truly need to for health reasons or is it because you are trying to find control in your life? Or is it for another reason you are scared to admit out loud…ie: you’re seeing an someone and want to make them jealous or you’re going on a trip and want to look better on social media…

If I say to yourself, “I can’t stop overeating”…The follow up question is always, WHY? Why can’t I stop eating? Am I really hungry? Or am I eating my feelings? Did something trigger me? How can I deal with that instead of dealing with the food?

If I say to yourself, I need to start  a diet Monday…The follow up question should be…Why? Why do you need to go down this path AGAIN. Why didn’t it work for you last time?

We often let food and diets drive our decisions. But it’s important to remember that the way you eat and diet isn’t the problem that needs to be fixed. Our thinking and our feelings need to be evaluated. Once we do that, eating better and dieting healthier is a symptom.

Food for thought on this Monday:)

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Weight Watchers tricks for everyone

Anyone who knows me knows I love Weight Watchers. I especially love the Weight Watchers app. For me, it’s a way of staying on track and in control, similar to My Fitness Pal for other people. This week I was -68 points, and that doesn’t even include my lattes which I don’t track..

The week before I was -61, and the week before that I was negative 92 points. Most people would panic at that but I look at those negative numbers as a positive. That’s because, when most of us start a diet we start with 1 goal, lose weight. And in that being our only goal, we completely forget to recognize other successes. But not only that, we set ourselves up for failure.

I started a new job about 6 months ago and it was a major life change for me, a change that had me feeling all kinds of emotions. And because of that I started emotionally eating. And I didn’t want to diet, but I also didn’t want to gain so I thought of another goal I could accomplish. I texted my friend and said, I’m going to track in my app until my birthday, keep me accountable.

My goal was to simply track my food in my weight watchers app, I said nothing about what foods I would track, just that I’d track. Sure enough, it’s helped  me stay healthy both physically and mentally.

I believe it’s so important to pick goals that don’t involve losing weight but make weight loss happen in the meantime. Because when you do that, you’re becoming healthy both physically and mentally.

It’s a small thing to focus on, that can fit into your life, without feeling overwhelming. And surprisingly, these habits do stick. So if you started your diet this Monday morning, I challenge you to redirect your thinking, pick a smaller goal that you can accomplish.

Here’s my advice in setting goals to set yourself up for success:

  1. Add something to your life, don’t take something away. (For example, instead of saying I’m not going to eat chocolate, say “I am going to eat two pieces of fruit a day”)
  2. Give yourself a specific end date. (ie: I am going to eat two pieces of fruit everyday until Dec. 9, 2018) I would try to keep your time frame around 1 month, not much longer
  3.  Tell someone. Tell your best friend, a co-worker, your mom, me! (nicole@mondaydieter.com) anyone that you respect and love that will kindly keep you accountable. I will happily be anyone’s person who is reading this.

 

And if you’re rolling your eyes and saying, “yeah nicole but I need to lose 50 pounds by next Tuesday, I need something more aggressive”, gently remind yourself all the times you’ve tried a more aggressive approach and failed… so try this instead…

And I want everyone to remind themselves that maintenance is success. It’s not just about losing weight, it’s about not gaining also. That’s just as important and these little goals are so instrumental in that!

Happy Monday!

pink sweater coffee cup

I weighed myself on 10 different scales… here’s what happened

This is something I have been thinking about doing for a very long time. The scale is something I get asked about more than anything else. It’s shrouded in mystery. When it’s too high or doesn’t move we question it’s accuracy. When it’s too low or too good to be true, again, we question its accuracy. We weigh more on certain scales and less on certain scales and it drives us nuts thinking which one is right. And to make matters worse, everyone knows that every single ounce counts.

The scale is something we fear. The scale is something we hate. Yet most of us just can’t stop getting on it day after day and letting the number weigh us down.

So will we ever know which scale is the most accurate?! Will we ever REALLY know how much we weigh? I wanted to find out any information I could so I set up an experiment. First, I had to get ten scales. Since I was hosting a brunch for my sister with my aunt this past weekend, I asked everyone coming to kindly bring their scale (nothing to do with the brunch I assured them).

First: I wanted to answer the question: Why do I weigh so much more at the doctors’ office or an afternoon weigh in? So I weighed myself for one week, every morning, and was the exact same weight. When it was time for the experiment, around noon, on that same scale, I weighed 3 pounds more. I was dressed, I had coffee and cereal. I had also gone to the gym. So that just proves that you DO weigh more as the day progresses. It doesn’t mean one scale is more accurate than another.

Then, I lined up all 10 scales and stepped on them one after another. I recored each weight. I used  my bathroom scale as scale 1, the point of reference, because it’s what I weigh myself on.

Here’s what happened:

 

Scale 1: My scale, my weight (or so I believe)

Scale 2:  2.7 pounds less than my scale (easiest 2.7 pounds I ever lost!)

Scale 3:  The same as my scale

Scale 4: Up .3 pounds from my scale

Scale 5: Down .2 pounds from my scale

Scale 6: Back up .4 pounds from my scale

Scale 7: Up 1 pound from my scale

Scale 8: The same as my scale

Scale 9: Up 2 whole pounds from my scale!

Scale 10: The same as my scale

Right there we have enough proof that no scale is “right” or “wrong.”

Then at the suggestion of one of the scale owner’s husbands, I put a 45 pound weight on each scale. The rationale, whichever scale read 45 pounds was the most accurate scale. Well guess what…NOT A SINGLE SCALE WEIGHED 45 POUNDS. The scales  ranged from 44.5 pounds to to 45.8 pounds.

AND the scale that the 45 pound weight was heaviest on wasn’t the same scale I was the heaviest on…

I’m not a scientist but I am someone who let the number on the scale rule over them for way to long. So let’s take the power back from the scale. It currently takes up too much head space that we don’t have room for. That number doesn’t define us. It never did and it never will. Happy Monday!

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Read more of my scale experiments:

I Weighed Myself Every 16 Hours…Here’s What Happened

Clearing up Water Weight Confusion

Making Peace With The Scale

 

Who are we without cookies?

brooke.jpgWe’ve all had relationships we regret. Jobs we regret. Conversations we regret. We’ve all acted a way we regret. We all have times or situations in our life that we wish went a different way. We all feel like we’ve been given the short end of the stick in some area of our lives. And if you’re reading this, weight may be the area you feel slighted in.

I often wish things were different when I step on the scale. Ugh, If I didn’t have emotional eating issues I wouldn’t be this weight. I often think  of this when I rush to midtown to make a 4:45 therapy appointment. If I didn’t have eating issues I’d be home right now and not stressed trying to get out of work to make this appointment. I often think of this on Saturday mornings at brunch when I choose an egg white omelet instead of Belgium waffles. If I could eat whatever I want life would be better.

It’s so easy for us to go down that deep dark rabbit hole. Wishing things were different. Wishing we didn’t have flaws.  Wishing we made different decisions.

But then I remind myself, if I didn’t have these flaws would I even be me?! No seriously, would I be?! Nope. My eating issues make me empathetic. My eating issues have helped my career. My eating issues have given me Monday Dieter!

It’s the same as the  failed relationships that brought you the person you are supposed to be with today. It’s the same way a failed job brought you a better opportunity. The same way bad situations have taught you a bigger lesson. All these things we view as negative all shaped us in positive ways. The number on the scale, the size of our jeans, our struggles with food, it’s shaped us to be the person we are today. The amazing person. And today, I decided to be thankful for that, instead of frustrated. And I encourage you to do the same:)

Happy Monday!

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brooke