Splitting the holidays stress is real.

It’s not the pumpkin pie that causes weight gain people, it’s just not. It’s the triggers that throws you into that pumpkin pie. And with Thanksgiving approaching this week, we all must anticipate our emotional eating triggers.

Here’s one of the biggest…splitting the holidays.

I was out to brunch with my girlfriends this weekend and we were talking about who was going where for the holidays. Most of us have kids now and that brings another added layer of logistics for plans. I was sad that in our conversation everyone equally addressed how stressful splitting the holidays between families was. No one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. No one wants to leave anyone out or alone on the holidays. We were all focusing on who were were going to upset and not focusing on where we were going to be. So the holidays haven’t even begun and a constant feeling of guilt is overshadowing the season. And I know we aren’t the only people dealing with this. It doesn’t matter if you are married, single, divorced, a mom, a dad, a child, a sister, a brother, a best friend…we all have holiday guilt when it comes to the places we chose to celebrate each year. And that guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger that we have the guilt makes us emotionally eat. And the anger at ourselves because we are eating because of the anger makes us emotionally eat. That’s where the holiday weight gain comes in.

So let’s talk this out now,  because if we all talk more openly about how we feel over the holidays, we’re all going to be so darn thin because we aren’t going to eat these feelings!!

First, we must all accept that we all cannot be three places at once. So enjoy the moment and the place you are in that moment. Be thankful for the people who are at your table, not the people who aren’t at the moment. And before you put stress on a family member to attend, think of how hard there decision was. If a family member isn’t with you, it’s not because you aren’t loved. We are all so loved. We all love so many people. But we have to accept how hard splitting the holidays are for EVERYONE involved.

Second, think about yourself first. That sounds selfish but its actually the least selfish thing you can do. You have to think of what will make YOU happy over the holidays. If that means seeing your sister, but your sister cannot make it to your dinner then plan something special with her. If that means you opt out of a party because of the way the people there will make you feel, then honor that. Put yourself first.

And everyone…don’t over commit! Don’t over commit to plans. Don’t jam pack your holidays so much that you run yourself ragged. Don’t over commit to cooking or hosting. Offer to bring and do what you can. You don’t need to be the hero. And there is always SO much darn leftover food anyways. So if you only make the sweet potatoes this year, so be it. Tell someone else to make the stuffing.

When you wish someone else a happy holidays you mean it. But why not wish yourself a HAPPY holidays and honor your feelings so it truly is happy:)

Happy Monday!

I’ll be posting all holiday season about triggers than make us eat. Keep checking back <3

me, pink sweater, starbucks, window

Other holiday related posts you may like…

Why the holidays suck sometimes

How to NOT gain weight this holiday season

Diet Tips to eat better at Special Occasions

 

A new weight loss tip to clear the mind and reduce stress!

If you are staring in the mirror this morning in the same place you were last week…you may need a new weight loss tip.

Tell me if you relate to this scenario…

You currently weigh X, lets say that’s 147 pounds. And you want to weigh Y, lets say that’s 135 pounds. (Note these are completely made up numbers)

And the past year you’ve continued to weigh in at around X (147 pounds). Maybe you fluctuated up or down a few pounds  from X, but never made it anywhere close to Y (135 pounds)

And you’re so focused on getting to Y, that Y can fee like a huge pile of laundry you don’t have enough time or energy to fold so you leave it sitting in the dryer. For days. And then, if you’re like me, your dryer becomes your drawer and for the next week and you take what you need from the unfolded pile…still no energy to fold.

This is a current scenario for me. Both laundry & weight.  I’ve let myself become so completely fixated on my Y that I stay consistently at X. It hit me the other day, why haven’t I ever changed my goal weight?

So in our example, you weigh X (147 pounds) and you want to get to Y (135 pounds) but today you change Y to 142 pounds….the goal feels much more doable. And although that number may feel too high for comfort, think of how good you’ll feel if you just get there… after all you haven’t been to that number in god knows how long…

In anything we’re trying to accomplish, we should meet ourselves in the middle. We’re always stuck in an extreme all or nothing mentality. And that mentality is such a sneaky little sabotage.

Here’s another example, I say, “I’m going to do a 10 day cleanse” but by day 2 (sometimes hour 2) it feels so hard that I say to myself, there is no way I can do this for another 9 days. So I quit. What if we just said, I’m going to do a 1 day cleanse. And then reevaluate the next day. Maybe you just do a 3 day cleanse, but regardless, meet yourself in the middle. Put yourself in a position to succeed. You deserve that!!

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

Weight Watchers tricks for everyone

Anyone who knows me knows I love Weight Watchers. I especially love the Weight Watchers app. For me, it’s a way of staying on track and in control, similar to My Fitness Pal for other people. This week I was -68 points, and that doesn’t even include my lattes which I don’t track..

The week before I was -61, and the week before that I was negative 92 points. Most people would panic at that but I look at those negative numbers as a positive. That’s because, when most of us start a diet we start with 1 goal, lose weight. And in that being our only goal, we completely forget to recognize other successes. But not only that, we set ourselves up for failure.

I started a new job about 6 months ago and it was a major life change for me, a change that had me feeling all kinds of emotions. And because of that I started emotionally eating. And I didn’t want to diet, but I also didn’t want to gain so I thought of another goal I could accomplish. I texted my friend and said, I’m going to track in my app until my birthday, keep me accountable.

My goal was to simply track my food in my weight watchers app, I said nothing about what foods I would track, just that I’d track. Sure enough, it’s helped  me stay healthy both physically and mentally.

I believe it’s so important to pick goals that don’t involve losing weight but make weight loss happen in the meantime. Because when you do that, you’re becoming healthy both physically and mentally.

It’s a small thing to focus on, that can fit into your life, without feeling overwhelming. And surprisingly, these habits do stick. So if you started your diet this Monday morning, I challenge you to redirect your thinking, pick a smaller goal that you can accomplish.

Here’s my advice in setting goals to set yourself up for success:

  1. Add something to your life, don’t take something away. (For example, instead of saying I’m not going to eat chocolate, say “I am going to eat two pieces of fruit a day”)
  2. Give yourself a specific end date. (ie: I am going to eat two pieces of fruit everyday until Dec. 9, 2018) I would try to keep your time frame around 1 month, not much longer
  3.  Tell someone. Tell your best friend, a co-worker, your mom, me! (nicole@mondaydieter.com) anyone that you respect and love that will kindly keep you accountable. I will happily be anyone’s person who is reading this.

 

And if you’re rolling your eyes and saying, “yeah nicole but I need to lose 50 pounds by next Tuesday, I need something more aggressive”, gently remind yourself all the times you’ve tried a more aggressive approach and failed… so try this instead…

And I want everyone to remind themselves that maintenance is success. It’s not just about losing weight, it’s about not gaining also. That’s just as important and these little goals are so instrumental in that!

Happy Monday!

pink sweater coffee cup

A simple way to stop mindless eating

I have to admit I’ve been a little self conscious about things said in front of my daughter in regards to weight, food, certain words. I didn’t know this would happen but it was an innate reaction. Everyone loves fat babies. They are the cutest, they are the healthiest. And although I know this, I find myself flinching whenever anyone says she’s fat, even though it’s a compliment.  When I realized my natural reaction to that word it made me aware of other things people, including myself, say out loud.  With that being said, did you ever notice that we all narrate our food choices out loud? We broadcast to anyone within ear sight what we’re choosing to put in our mouths.

For example, we’re  at a party. We are seated at a table filled with all our high fattening favorites. We’re  a little self conscious about our over eating at this event so we speak our over-indulgent insecurities out loud. It sounds something like this, “I know I shouldn’t be having another cookie but I’m going to do it anyway” or “Well I’m completely off my diet so I might as well enjoy this pie.” or “I know this has too many calories but I am going to eat it anyway because it’s so good.” 

I found myself doing it this weekend. I was at a friends party and I showed up starving. I sat on the couch and in front of me was a bowl of Utz Party Mix. You know, the one with the Doritos and the Cheetos and the pretzels and tortilla chips, it comes in the big tub. I love that stuff.  I truly did enjoy eating this and I did feel like I had calories to spare for the day/weekend. However, I probably said out loud a minimum of 13 times to my friends around me things like this, “I’m literally eating this whole bowl” and “I cannot stop eating this.”

Well guess what, who cares. Literally no one cares what I’m eating and no one cares what you’re eating. No one is watching what anyone else is eating. I’m actually bringing more attention to myself. I’m reminding people that I’m eating like crap, when they probably didn’t even realize.

The truth is, we think people are judging us. But the reality is, we are just judging ourselves. No one is shaming us, we’re shaming ourselves. The judgement and shame we place on ourselves when we eat poorly makes us emotional, emotions make us eat. So stop judging yourself. Own your decision to eat what you want when you want. The judgement is weighing us down more than any calorie ever will.

Happy Monday!

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I’m just going to go ahead and eat two ice cream cones.

Ever wonder exactly what your ideal weight is supposed to be? It might not be what you think.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve designated a goal weight in your head and it’s been set in stone for as long as you can remember. I’ve literally had the same goal weight for 20 years. I haven’t been that weight since high school, yet, it’s still my goal weight. And every time I start a diet, the finish line is that number. In the rare case that I’ve been able to hit that number in my adult life, I stay there for roughly 6 seconds.

All of these things should be indications that this actually is NOT my ideal weight. But since I’ve built an irrational case for this number and settled on it. It actually haunts me. The same way any item on my to-do list haunts me. And since there is nothing more satisfying than checking something off our to-do list, if we could just check this off we’d feel more at ease. Accomplished.

Recently I really started to think about this number and I realized it was utterly arbitrary. It’s just a number that sounded good to me at one time in my life. But is it backed by anything? Is there any science to this number? Will I be any healthier at this number? Will my cravings suddenly dissipate at this number? Will all my emotional eating end at this number? Is there any guarantees for anything in life when I hit this number? Nope, Nope & Nope. So why does it exist? And what would happen if I changed that number to something higher. What would happen if instead of me trying to reach my goal, I let my goal reach me. Instead of me dictating what I should weigh, I let my body dictate that.

When we remind ourselves that we can do anything NOW that we can do at that number it takes the power away from the number. I can eat healthier at a higher weight, I can reach career goals at a higher weight, I can dress sexy and cute at a higher weight. I can be happy at a higher weight.

Think about this, you’re not a failure if you never hit that number. You’re a success if you rise above the number. Literally rise above. Pun actually intended.

Happy Monday!


✌🏽 peace out, “ideal weight”

It’s time we all stop saying “I look fat in that picture”

We live in an era of pictures. We LOVE them. They capture our memories and give our friends and family a glimpse into our lives.

We live in an age of instant gratification. A picture is taken, we all want to immediately see it and know if it’s a good picture. But here’s a simple reality, when we look at a photo, we each only look at ourselves. It’s a good picture if we look good. It’s a bad picture if we look bad. It’s a picture that needs to be burned or deleted if we look fat. A good picture can put us right up on cloud 9 and a bad picture can send us down a deep dark rabbit hole.

Have you ever seen a photo of yourself and it put you in a bad mood for the rest of the day? It used to happen to me all the time. I, like so many people, would judge myself so harshly in photos. I’d analyze flaws. It was like the scale and photos were the two things that determined my mood and self worth daily.

In fact, poses like “skinny arm” were invented strictly so we could love ourselves more in photos. We can also “filter” any flaw. We essentially cater more to how we will look in pictures than how we look in real life.

Recently, I obviously put on a lot of weight. They say pregnancy does that to you:) Although Penelope helped me lose 7 pounds, 8 ounces, I still have a ways to go. And I’m currently still the heaviest I’ve ever been not pregnant. In fact, if I was this weight 10 years ago I’d be in the worst place mentally. I would have HATED myself and spoken to myself horribly. Because 10 years ago, weight trumped everything. A picture where I looked thin meant more to me than anything. It’s sad to say but it’s the truth. And many of us, work so hard at our degrees, our careers, our families and our relationships. We may be successful in them all. But when we fail at weight, we feel like we’ve failed at life.

This past weekend I was at the beach with my family. I decided to take my 3 month old daughter, Penelope down to the water for the first time. I announced to everyone that I was doing that. Naturally, everyone who was with me on the beach wanted to witness this. My sister-in-law, Jen, grabbed her camera to document the moment. Later that night she asked if I wanted to look at the photos she had taken. I of course did. My first reaction, I’m not going to lie, was panic. Wow, I look big I thought. Eek, my rolls are prominent, I said to myself.  I had to take a moment to gather my fear of fat and bring myself back to reality. The reality was that my daughter had felt the ocean water on her toes for the first time. My body had given birth to the daughter that was in that picture. A moment of pain turned into a moment of immense pride. Those we’re body imperfections, those were beauty marks.

I was a little frustrated that I fixated on me instead of Penelope. Like me, you too have spent too much time and energy trying to look perfect in pictures that you’ve forgotten the meaning of a photo. A photo is there to capture a memory not become a vehicle that determines self worth. If the moment is perfect so is your body at that moment.

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