The one thing you should give up

You may read this post today and think, “Whoa, she is ALL over the place. Where is she going with this?” I know, because I felt that way as I was writing. But writing that way is often the best..gets to the root of where our heads are at. Bare with me till the end though, I promise I’ll wrap it all up in a pretty purple bow of comprehension.

Last night I had that dream where I am trying to run but my legs wouldn’t move. I was trying to make it to my barre class and my legs wouldn’t take me.

Have you ever had that dream? You are trying to make it somewhere and you can’t reach your destination? Maybe you’re even racing the clock too in the dream. I hate this dream. I took some time this am to look up what this dream means and I found this, According to some, this dream means you have too much on your plate. You’re trying to do too many things at once and you just can’t seem to catch up.”  The way I interpreted this, I am the one holding myself back. I am the reason my legs won’t move.

I often feel that way when something feels out of my control. And prior to having this dream I have been thinking a lot about the feeling of “giving up.” It’s not in my nature to be a quitter so I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about giving up when I feel helpless. When it seems like no matter what I do the end goal is impossible. When I am honestly just tired of running.

I think many of us feel this way in different areas of our lives. I think weight loss is an easy example of  feeling  this way. You try to eat healthy & exercise but you step on the scale and it doesn’t budge. Or worse, it’s gone up. At work, no matter what you do or how hard you try you’re not getting ahead or your boss is just hard on you. Maybe in your marriage  you wish your partner was more loving & present. Maybe you are trying to find a relationship & you just feel like love isn’t in your cards. It could be a medical situation you feel is out of your control or an aging parent that you know is only getting worse. The feeling of helplessness is real. It’s scary. It’s sad. It has the tendency to be all consuming.

This week a good high school friend of mine and I were emailing to catch up. I confided in her regarding a struggle I was facing and she responded letting me know she understands how I feel and has been in that same boat. We talked about the inability to let the good outweigh the bad in life. Why is that?

There are so many different things that make up who we are, essentially it’s our own colorful pie chart that comes together to form one perfect circle of us. Our careers hold a piece of the pie, our hobbies, our passions, our relationships, our kids, our friends, our health, our responsibilities, our finances, etc. Everyone of these areas could be thriving in life, Yet we focus so heavily on the one that is making our pie less than perfect. That area in life is often the one we want to give up on, the thing making it impossible to reach our destination. And why shouldn’t we? Can’t we just remove that sliver of our pie and push the other two sides together?

In short, yes you can.

But that’s the easy way out. The hard way is to take a long hard look at why you are running towards this destination and you’re stuck.

I think social pressure plays a huge role in why we can’t get there. Because we think if we aren’t there we haven’t made it. But maybe you are already there. We all want to be successful. We want to have a purpose. Success means something different for everyone. Some people view success as a husband+house+child. Others view success as a high powered career. Others see success in numbers: financial wealth or a size 2 jeans.   And a small percentage of us, see success as simply happiness. That’s where I aim to be.

So how do we make ourselves happy when one piece of our pie isn’t cooperating? how do we get our legs to move when they feel stuck. Spend time celebrating the good.

I’ll start: For me, it’s my husband. The aren’t enough words in the English language to describe how amazing he is for me. That simple act of focusing on the best thing in my life, made the worst thing not so bad.

Remember, Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes that journey is hard but keep trying until you get there. You’ll know when you are there. And the one thing you should give up….is giving up. Don’t let that be an option.

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