Do you ever sit back and think, OMG I’ve basically been on a diet everyday of my life. Sounds dramatic but seriously, since I decided to start a diet at the age of 9, I’ve been on a diet everyday since. And by diet I mean, I actually feel like I’m always on a diet. I’m thinking about what I eat, when I eat, when I’m going to stop eating, how much weight I have to lose to get to my goal, when I’m going to start my next diet to get there, what diet I will start to get there, how the bad food I’m eating is sabatoging my current diet ect. ect. ect. It’s the never ending inner monologue of a lifelong dieter.
It hit me in barre class the other day. I was at my 5th class of the week, I usually try to push myself to 5 classes a week. A. I like it, B. it makes my monthly membership fee make economic sense and C. I need to lose weight, because like I stated earlier, I’m always on a diet. During an intense thigh session at the barre, I thought to myself, I should look like a super model the amount I go to this damn workout. Then I actually panicked thinking…I wonder if my husband, or anyone for that matter, is ever thinking, she goes to barre all the time and she doesn’t look like a supermodel. Then like a ton of bricks it hit me, I’ve been on a diet everyday of my life and I have nothing to show for it. I’m not at my goal weight. I’m not super thin. I have 4 sizes of jeans in my closet at all times. I still rock the flowy tops to cover the muffin top. I depend on the skinny arm pose in pictures and have cellulite that’s become like a tattoo, permanent. All this time, effort and money I have put into losing weight and I STILL haven’t hit that goal weight. Frankly, I feel like I’m still “not perfect.” Talk about depressing. Talk about physically feeling failure.
Let’s talk this out. It’s actually NOT a bad thing that we’ve “been on a diet every day of our lives.” What if us gals (or guys) that have been on a diet every day of our lives are the success stories. I think there’s a lack of praise for the weight we are now and for what we have accomplished by doing what we do everyday. Sure, we all may be 10, 20, 50 pounds from our goal weight but where would we be if we weren’t always trying to get there. We may be in a much much worse situation and living at a very heavier weight, unhealthier.
Let’s look at yo yo dieting through this lenses as well. Hi, I’m Nicole and I’m a yo yo dieter. Hiii Nicole. I have fluctuated the same 19 pounds my entire adult life. Yes, 19. You, like me, may also have “your numbers.” Your highest, you’re lowest and everything in between. And each number means something different and makes us feel a different emotion. When I get to my highest, it’s panic mode. But the key word, my highest. It’s my highest because I’ll never let myself go higher. That’s thanks to the lifelong dieter in me. It’s the self awareness that many of us perpetual dieters have that’s actually a blessing and working to our advantage. There’s a reason we keep all sizes of clothes in our closets, we know we will need them all and that’s ok because all 4 sizes are who we are at different times.
How many of us think that if we get to a certain weight at a certain time we will never have to diet again? It’s a great thought…but let’s be honest, that’s never going to happen. We will always have to be watching what we eat, for our health, not just our waistline. Even the people we look at and think look perfect, have to watch what they eat.
Weight loss will always be a journey, never a destination. And we all need to throw out false truths we’ve picked up along the way that at a certain point we can “eat whatever we want” and not gain a pound. It’s just not true.
So to all us girls who feel like we’ve been on a diet everyday of their lives, we have and we’re better versions of ourselves because of it. In the end, a diet is never about the weight, it’s about constantly striving to be better.
Think of it this way, if you work every day of your life to make money (which most of us do) and you don’t have a saving account, that doesn’t make you a failure. You’re still making money. You still have a career. That money you make everyday is helping you live, eat, raise a family and most importantly , live happy. The same way your bank account doesn’t represent success, the scale doesn’t represent failure.